


Man of Honour

by upsgirl88



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-07 19:57:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 41,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12239625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upsgirl88/pseuds/upsgirl88
Summary: When Jaime turns up at Winterfell with shocking News it's up to Brienne to make the others see him the way she does and trust his intentions. Tormund's visit only complicates matters even more for Lady Brienne...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect when I published the Braime one shot. I was so worried I would totally screw things up because I’m not as familiar with the ins and outs of GOT like I am with TWD. I have to admit… this pairing is so exciting and intriguing to me and I decided (with a bit of a shove, okay a hard shove, from my muse) to try a J/B multichapter. Thank you to everyone who read and left feedback on the one shot, you guys are amazing and brought me so much happiness. Jumping into a new fandom is scary, so thank you all for being so kind. For any of you Tormund fans out there, he’ll be making an appearance later. And Hound-lovers like me… how could I miss the opportunity to throw in a little of that bromance :) Anyway, I’ll shut up now and let you read.

When Brienne saw the gates of Winterfell she almost teared up. It had been a long journey back from King’s Landing - too long, almost a fortnight longer than usual. The supply wagon kept getting stuck and slowed them immensely and when they finally abandoned it and carried the remaining supplies they suffered the misfortune of losing not one, but two horses. It felt like anything that could go wrong, did - but finally they were home. 

The gates swung open and the guards welcomed them. Brienne always found being welcomed a bit strange. A raven had been sent with the news of the meeting and would have arrived long before them so it wasn’t like anyone was waiting with baited breath to hear what they had to say. Really, it was just a bunch more mouths to feed at supper and a few more people to help guard and protect Lady Sansa, Lady Arya and the rest of the Lords and Ladies of the North. Yet, when they did arrive back it seemed like people were very happy to see them. 

Brienne tried to make small talk and she truly did enjoy the small feast that was prepared that evening. It wasn’t extravagant because supplies were being rationed - it was Winter after all. All she really wanted though was to prepare a warm bath and soak in it for hours. Lady Sansa wanted to meet with her after supper and Brienne made a note to ask where Lord Baelish had trotted off to. He rarely left Sansa’s side, much to her dismay. The man was a snake and Brienne couldn’t help but wonder what he was plotting at any given moment. 

When the meal was over Sansa summoned her and they retired to her chambers to speak in private. “I’m happy to have you back Lady Brienne,” Sansa said, looking like she truly meant it. 

Brienne bowed slightly, “And I’m very happy to be back my Lady.” 

They spoke briefly about the meeting and Sansa let her know that Jon and Daenerys were on their way to East Watch from Dragonstone to make plans for the battle to come. “You saw it? That thing?” Sansa asked. 

“I did, my Lady,” Brienne replied with a shiver. She could still see the Hound cutting the wight to pieces as the monster continued to move and emit that high pitched scream. “I hope it’s something you never have to lay eyes on.” Sansa wouldn’t be going to battle. She needed to be safe and protected in case something happened to Jon - The North would need a leader. 

Sansa went on to explain the plan once Jon and Dany made it to East Watch. The northern armies were already preparing to march for the wall and they would be joined by Daenery’s Unsullied and Dothraki armies. “What about the Lannister armies - from King’s Landing?” Brienne asked. Cersei had agreed to help in the fight against the Night King so Jaime should have been preparing their armies to head north as well. 

Sansa didn’t speak for a moment and then sighed. “There’s something you should know.” She took a seat and collected her thoughts. “Several days ago someone arrived here, starving and half dead on horseback.” Brienne immediately began to wonder who it could be, but she honestly had no guesses. “He’s currently being guarded day and night in the cell under the South tower until I figure out what to do with him.” 

“Who is it my Lady?” Brienne finally asked. 

“The Kingslayer has made his return to Winterfell once again,” Sansa replied. 

“Jaime? Jaime Lannister? He’s here?” Brienne was shocked to the point her legs threatened to give out so she sat down as well. 

“Yes,” Sansa nodded. “He came bearing some very concerning news. And now I must decide whether to believe him or execute him.” 

“Execute him?” Brienne responded reflexively, her voice much louder than intended. “Sorry my Lady,” she said more calmly. “Why would you execute Ser Jaime? He’s leading the armies that are coming to help in the fight…” It was really none of her business but Sansa had always been forthcoming with her about the things that were going on. 

“Give me some time to discuss things with Bran and Arya. When I make my decision I’ll fill you in,” Sansa replied, getting to her feet. “You must be exhausted. I’ve already asked a bath be drawn for you. Please, go relax and get some rest - you’ve earned it.” 

She had been dismissed and Brienne knew she wasn’t going to get any more information out of Sansa right then. But she did have that one question first. “Thank you my Lady. But before I go, I noticed Lord Baelish isn’t here…” Sansa explained that Littlefinger had been executed for murder and treason but gave no further details. The treason didn’t surprise Brienne, but the fact that Sansa had followed through with the execution, especially with Jon still away… that was a bit shocking. 

Brienne had a lot to think of as she soaked in the hot tub, but her mind was consumed by one thought and one thought alone - Jaime was there. On the other side of the castle in a cold dark cell was the Lord Commander of the Queensguard. She pictured his face the last time she saw him, always so handsome. But why was he there? And how had he got there before her? It had to mean he’d left right after them and somehow passed them along the way, maybe when they had stopped and set up camp off the Kingsroad to stay hidden. 

As she bathed in the water she thought about that time at Harrenhal when her and Jaime had bathed together. It was the only time she’d seen him naked but she thought about it a lot. She hadn’t seen many naked men, but she was pretty sure Jaime was one of the finest she would ever see. He’d seen her naked too that day, accidentally, but she still felt mortified when she thought about it. She knew he’d checked her out, but then he’d averted his eyes. She always wondered if he was disgusted or just being respectful? When she looked in the mirror it often surprised her. Despite being a giant compared to most women she still had the same curves and decent sized breasts. Once she was dressed though, in full armour, she hid all of that and hid it well. 

Brienne tried to think of other things, like the battle to come or how impressed she’d been by the Dragon Queen, but it all kept coming back to Jaime. She’d been infatuated by him for a long time and no matter what she told herself about the kind of man he was… he always seemed to prove her wrong. The fact of the matter was - Jaime was truly a good guy. He had faults, but no man was perfect. If he really was an asshole she would have had no problem putting their encounters in the past and moving on but time and time again, just when she was sure she could finally lump him in with Cersei and his late father… he did something to make her realize there was a man of honour inside him. 

Brienne also tried to tell herself that it was a weakness of hers to be infatuated by handsome men who paid her some sort of attention. She’d pledged her life to Renly Baratheon. She loved him and she’d let him down. Then fate had given her the task of keeping the Kingslayer alive so long ago and somehow she’d grown to admire him. She carried his sword at her side every day and it felt sometimes like he was with her, even if she didn’t have the right to feel that way. He was tied to his sister, by blood and by honour and Brienne knew he would always put Cersei first. She couldn’t imagine that ever changing. And even if it did, what did that mean for her? Nothing. Ser Jaime would find another beautiful southern woman with a gorgeous face and sexy body - because he could. 

As much as she rationalized things and told herself she was bordering on insanity sometimes… she couldn’t fight the urge to see him. Was it a betrayal to Lady Sansa if she visited Ser Jaime at his cell? She swore to protect Sansa and Arya and Brienne would stake her life and her honour on the fact that Jaime would not hurt them. Whatever was going on… whatever had brought him there… he was risking his life - that had to count for something. If Sansa decided to execute Jaime… No, she couldn’t think about it right then. 

Brienne finished up in the tub and then got out. She toweled off and dressed in fresh clothes for bed. It was late and she was exhausted, but sleep just wouldn’t come. With the moon high in the sky and everyone but the guards on watch sleeping Brienne got out of bed and put on warm clothes and her armour. She strapped Oathkeeper to her side and trudged out into the cold night, right towards the South tower. 

She had to visit him. She needed to know if he was okay. She needed to know why he was there. But most of all… she just needed to see his handsome face. 

“Lady Brienne?” the guard was surprised to see her. He sat near the door that led into the jail where Jaime was being held. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” she said honestly. “I’ve been wandering around giving some of the guards a half hour break. It’s your turn,” she lied with a smile. “Go get something warm to drink and a bite to eat. I’ll keep watch until you’re back.” 

Luckily the guard bought it and left eagerly. She couldn’t blame him, it was a cold, cold night. The second he was gone she opened the door and approached the cell. She could see Jaime huddled in the far corner, legs tucked up to his chest. “Ser Jaime,” she whispered. “Ser Jaime,” she said louder, trying to wake him. She lit a torch and set it in the holder. It brightened the room and she could see him better. “Jaime,” she said louder yet. This time her voice woke him. 

“Lady Brienne,” he sighed. “Boy am I glad to see you.” Despite being freezing and likely starving he stood and approached her with a smile. The way he was looking at her made her cheeks flush. He was happy to see her, that was all, but being in his presence made her knees weak. Jaime Lannister. The Lord Commander of the Queensguard. He was standing before her - locked up in a cell in Winterfell. She had to grab the bars to steady herself and regain her focus. She hated feeling weak. 

“Ser Jaime… why are you here?” she whispered. “What happened?” 

“Sansa didn’t tell you?” he looked surprised as he moved even closer. Brienne could feel his presence as he approached. It changed the air around her and made it harder to catch her breath. She shook her head. “My cunt of a sister is a liar,” he said. His words were shocking. To hear him refer to the Queen that way… his sister… the woman he loved… What the hell is going on? “Brienne… she’s not sending our armies. They’re not coming. She lied. Not only that… she betrayed me.” The pain in his face stabbed her right in the heart. As quick as it appeared it was gone - replaced by rage. “I left. I’m here to help. I won’t go back on the deal, though I can’t bring the armies she promised.” 

And there it was again. That man of honour that she knew was inside him. If only the others could see him like she did there would be no talk of execution. He was at the bars now and he placed one hand over hers. His bare skin must have been freezing but she couldn’t feel it through her gloves, still it sent a ripple of heat coursing through her body in a way she didn’t fully understand. He made her body feel so many things that were new and scary. “I need your help Lady Brienne. You need to make them believe me,” Jaime said softly. “You need to make them see I’m telling the truth. Sansa needs to send a raven to Jon and Daenerys to warn them. Please… I need you. We all need you.” 

Brienne couldn’t speak. There was too much going on inside both her mind and body. But she nodded slowly and felt him squeeze her hand. His face was every bit as handsome as she remembered, though it was dirty and he looked worn. There was something different though, something with his eyes. They sparkled, even in the dim glow of the single torch. It was like everything that had made them dull in the past had been lifted away allowing his inner glow to escape. She could see it… she could feel the change in him… but Brienne just wasn’t sure she understood it... yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you guys for reading and following and reviewing. I can’t express what it means to me given how nervous I’ve been about writing this. I know many of you have not read my work before and many of you have - but thank you all from the bottom of my heart, whether you’re reading specifically for J/B or because you’ve enjoyed other things. Have a beautiful Day and I do hope you enjoy the little twist at the end :)

Brienne couldn't get the look she’d seen in Jaime’s eyes out of her mind as she went back to her chambers once the guard returned. If she didn't know better she would have guessed he almost looked… happy. But he was locked up in a cell facing potential execution - happiness didn't seem likely. She hoped she would get the chance to ask him about it sometime, but that meant she needed to find a way to keep him alive first. 

The passion in his voice when he told her he needed her was playing over and over in her head. Jaime Lannister needed her - again. She had protected him before, well, it was more keeping him alive than anything, and she’d succeeded. She could do it again. She would do it again. 

The question she had to ask herself though, was why it was so important to her? Jaime had been kind and she believed they had some kind of connection. Perhaps he didn't see it the same way… or maybe he did. He’d given her his sword in a really tender moment between them and then refused it when she tried to give it back not all that long ago. He certainly wasn't infatuated with her like she was with him. Why would he be? She wasn't the kind of girl who married a Knight or wore fancy dresses and raised children. She was a fighter, a soldier, just like him. It was always inevitable that they would end up fighting for different sides one day… was that still the case? 

Brienne didn't know what she hoped to get out of saving Jaime, she just knew she needed to do it. She trusted him when he said that Daenerys and Jon needed to hear the news about Cersei. She believed what he said was the truth and she had no fears he was planning any sort of double cross. He was risking way too much being there. Why couldn't Sansa see that? 

Once she was back in bed Brienne was finally able to turn her brain off enough to fall asleep. In the morning she would go find Sansa and speak openly with her. If it came to begging she would beg. Whatever it took to keep Jaime alive. 

Brienne woke to a loud bang on the door. Turned out it was Podrick warning her that she was about to miss breaking her fast with the others. She quickly got ready and joined him and the rest for a bowl of hot oats and some dried fruit. 

As soon as she was done eating she took off in search of Lady Sansa. She found her where she often did, standing out on the high balcony overlooking the courtyard. “Good morning my Lady,” Brienne said as she approached. Sansa turned and smiled warmly. “I was wondering if I might have a word with you… about Ser Jaime.” 

Sansa looked a bit surprised. “I haven't made my decision yet.” 

“I have a confession,” Brienne replied. “You should know I visited his cell last night and I know the news he brought you my Lady.” 

“Why would you visit the Kingslayer?” Sansa seemed a bit annoyed but not outright angry. 

It bothered Brienne when people referred to Jaime as Kingslayer but she let it go. “I… uh…” She stammered while collecting her thoughts. “I saw him at King’s Landing, we had a brief conversation,” Brienne admitted. “I was just so surprised he would come here and somehow got here before we did. I couldn't sleep thinking about it so I went and relieved the guard for a little while and spoke to him.” Brienne was obliged to be fully open and honest with Sansa, she deserved that. 

“You really should have asked my permission before speaking with a prisoner,” Sansa replied, a bit arrogantly. But she softened immediately. “But I do know you have, um, history, with Ser Jaime.” It was Sansa’s way of letting her know there would be no punishment for her actions but also warn her not to let it happen again. “Tell me Lady Brienne, what do you think of what he has to say? What would you do with him?” 

It took her back that Sansa was asking her advice on such an important issue. “I believe him. I trust him completely,” Brienne replied earnestly. “I think you need to send a raven to East Watch immediately so King Jon and Queen Daenerys will know what's going on.” She had no idea if Sansa would take her advice or not, but she wanted to be sure to give her a compelling case. “Even riding through the North was a huge risk for Ser Jaime. If anyone recognized him they could have killed him on the spot. Yet he took that chance to come here and bring the news to you in person. He knew there was no way you believe it if it was sent by raven. He recognized it had to be in person. I don’t know the details, but Jaime was betrayed by those closest to him. I know you don’t believe it, most don’t, but Jaime truly is an honourable man. He would do anything to protect the people he loves…” She let her voice trail off and thought about how he’d jumped in that bear pit to save her. He’d do anything for those he loves, she repeated in her head… Then Brienne quickly dismissed that thought. Jaime wasn’t in love with her then and he wasn’t now, he just owed her one - that was all. 

“So what if that’s what this is?” Sansa asked. “What if him being here is in some way protecting the Queen? How can I trust that he’s not on some sort of mission for her?” 

Brienne hung her head. Sansa made a great point. But she had to make her believe in Jaime somehow. “You can’t be sure,” Brienne admitted. “But I know him… I trust him… and I believe what he says is the truth. If you could see the look in his eyes,” she continued. “He’s never looked like that before and I think… I think it has something to do with breaking free from Queen Cersei.” The last part was just a guess, but if it was true it supported the idea that Jaime meant them no ill will and that he wasn’t involved in some sort of plot with Cersei. 

Sansa stared out over Winterfell and was quiet for a long time. Finally she said, “Okay.” 

“Okay?” Brienne repeated. 

“Okay,” Sansa nodded. “I’m not going to trust Jaime… but I will trust you.” She turned to Brienne. “I won’t send a raven right away, not yet… Jon and Daenerys won’t even be at EastWatch yet anyway. But I will allow Ser Jaime to stay here and I will allow him out of the cell… on one condition.” 

 

“Name it,” Brienne replied, wishing she was able to hide her excitement more than she had. 

“Once he’s out of the cell he’s your responsibility,” Sansa said, meeting her gaze head on. “You will keep him by your side or at least in your sight at all times. All times,” Sansa repeated, her tone strict and serious. “He gets no possible chance to snoop around unattended or do anything without being watched. Nothing.” 

“Okay…” Brienne was feeling all sorts of panicked inside. Jaime being by her side every second of every day? While they slept and bathed and relieved themselves… She shivered. If she was being honest with herself it wasn’t different than it had been when she was tasked with escorting him back to King’s Landing to trade for Arya and Sansa, but it was in Winterfell not on the road and that seemed so different. “Where will he sleep?” she blurted out. 

“If you prefer to lock him back in the cell each night you may,” Sansa replied. “Otherwise he’ll have to share your chambers. I will send shackles to put on him while you sleep, just to be sure he doesn’t sneak away.” 

Brienne’s heart was racing. This was such an unexpected twist. On one hand - she’d succeeded in saving his life and possibly even getting his message to Jon and Daenerys, but the cost didn’t come cheap. She gave one last ditch effort, “If I’m preoccupied with Ser Jaime, who will watch over you and Lady Arya?” 

Sansa laughed, “I think we both know that Arya doesn’t need anyone to protect her anymore. As for me… You were gone for a long time and I’m just fine. There are lots of people here to keep me safe and you’ll be guarding the only threat I foresee inside these walls.” 

Brienne sighed. She didn’t often question the task she was given but this one wouldn’t be easy. “Yes my Lady,” she said with a nod. “I understand what needs to be done and I won’t let you down.” 

“I know you won’t,” Sansa replied. “Guess you better go let Ser Jaime know the good news, hmm?” There was a strange little smile toying on her lips. “You should probably take him to the baths straight off. Don’t want him stinking up the hall at dinner.” 

The baths. Of course. Why not? Brienne thought bitterly. But as she wandered off towards the cell the thought of seeing Jaime completely nude again became quite intriguing…


	3. Chapter 3

After arranging for a bath to be drawn and clean clothes brought up Brienne headed to the cell and dismissed the guard. She grabbed the key that was hanging on the wall and walked to the door. He immediately got up, looking excited. “You did it? Does Sansa believe me? Will she send the raven?” It was hard not to feel good about the smile on his face and the sparkle in his eyes. “I knew I could count on you,” he added, stepping back as she swung the door open. 

“Don’t get too excited yet, you haven’t heard the sordid details,” Brienne grumbled. 

“Can’t be that bad if you’re here letting me out,” Jaime said, stepping out and stretching. She gave him a look and explained Sansa’s deal. He didn’t seem nearly as bothered by it as she was. “She needs to make sure she can trust me first - that’s fair,” he said with a nod. “I get protection from the bravest warrior I know and I don’t have to sleep in this freezing cold dungeon anymore.” Jaime shrugged, “This is actually better than I was expecting.” 

“Maybe for you,” she mumbled, while continuing to brood. 

“Oh come on now, cheer up Bri, it’ll be like old times - just you and me against the world…” His voice trailed off and she resisted the urge to smack the grin off his face, only because she couldn’t quite get past him calling her Bri. No one had done that, and got away with it, since she was a child. Her nanny used to call her lil’ Bri, though the lil part didn’t last all that long. She was absolutely positive she hated nicknames, until Jaime used one. For some reason, coming from him, she really liked the way it sounded. 

“Yeah but this time - if you’re a pain in the ass I can just throw you back in that cell,” she warned.

He was still smiling at her and despite her best efforts she was completely softening. “You wouldn’t do that to me,” he challenged. 

Brienne made a scoffing noise in response, mostly because she wasn’t ready to admit he was right. He was being pretty damn cocky for a man she’d just saved from execution. “Come on, Lady Sansa said you need to get in the bath or you’re not allowed at the supper table.” 

She started to walk and he trotted after her. “I get to eat in the hall? With everyone else?” 

She hadn’t really considered him not eating with them all. “Why wouldn’t you?” 

He looked over at her strangely, “Uh, Lannister here… The northerners don’t take too kindly to my family. I’m sure it’s only going to make your job more difficult if I show up as your dinner, uh, companion.” 

“Dinner companion,” she repeated, rolling her eyes. “You are anything but my companion Ser Jaime.” He was very likely right about ruffling some feathers, but Brienne was confident she could handle it. “It’ll be fine.” 

By the time they made it to the baths she was about ready to panic. She was supposed to keep her eyes on Jaime at all times, but she could at least trust him to undress and get into the bath while she turned her back, right? He seemed very eager to get clean, or maybe it was to warm up in the hot water, and started undressing right away. Brienne sighed, “Can I trust you won’t run your naked ass off down the hall if I turn my back while you get in?” 

“Oh no, have you seen what this cold does to my manhood?” he joked. “That would surely tarnish the Lannister name ever further.” Brienne just happened to look up as he dropped his drawers. She froze. The cold didn’t seem to be an issue right then. Everything looked just as good as it had the last time she saw it. He wasn’t at all bothered by her looking at him naked. He just wandered over to the bath and got in. “Guess we didn’t have to find out, hmm?” 

She felt her cheeks flush, both from embarrassment and in reaction to his nude form. There was no denying her physical attraction for him. She could lie to herself all she wanted, but it didn’t change the stirring inside her and the warmth that spread between her legs. No man had ever made her feel weak like Jaime did. It wasn’t a feeling of weakness that she loathed, though, but a feeling she craved. Brienne knew she had a tendency to become very attached to those who were kind to her. Between Jaime’s kindness and his obvious beauty she had developed a physical and emotional attraction. That was where it ended though because as usual, it was one sided. 

Brienne shook herself and changed the conversation. “What happened Jaime?” she asked gently. “What happened that brought you here? What did she do to you?” 

Jaime filled her in on the details of what had happened with Cersei. “I always thought she saw me as her equal. I thought she trusted me. But to carry out that plan and not even tell me? To plot with Euron Greyjoy behind my back? To swear to help Jon and the Dragon Queen but it was all a complete lie…” He ducked his face in the water and then popped back up. “I could never trust her again. She’s evil and she had no loyalty or honour. I just can’t believe it took me so long to finally see that.” 

It all sounded good. It sounded like he was really through with Cersei, but Brienne was more realistic. “You’ll go back to her. You always do. Because you are loyal, even if she’s not.” 

“Not this time,” he shook his head. “You’re right, I am loyal… but I can’t be loyal to her any longer.” 

“Then who will you be loyal to?” she asked. 

“Myself… my brother… Queen Daenerys…” That one was shocking. Would he really bend a knee to Dany over his own sister? “You,” he finished. 

“Me?” That one was even more shocking. 

“Don’t seem so surprised,” Jaime chuckled. “I owe you my life Lady Brienne, many times over.” It may have been true, but pledging loyalty to another was a big deal for people like them, people who valued loyalty and honour above almost everything else. 

Once again she had to change the topic because she was feeling overwhelmed. “You look different,” she said, pulling a chair close to the bath so she could sit down. “When I saw you last night… there was something in your eyes... “ She struggled to explain it and hoped he didn’t think she was insane. “You were locked in a cold cell, yet you looked… free… and happy.” 

Thankfully Jaime seemed to understand exactly what she meant. “I do feel free. For the first time in my life,” he said, as he soaped himself under the water. Brienne looked way even though she couldn’t see into the bath. It helped her to not imagine exactly what he was soaping up under there. “I’ve always felt like I was was half a person and Cersei was the other half - together we made a whole. I depended on her because she completed me. She was my whole world.” The way he was talking made her feel sick to her stomach. “But I had a lot of time to think alone on my journey here… and I realized that I’m finally my own man. I don’t need her to complete me - I’m already whole without her. It feels so good to be free of all her demands and expectations. I don’t have to worry about pleasing her or disappointing her.” He was smiling now and he looked more handsome than she had ever seen him, especially now that she knew the real reason he was glowing. 

“It’s hard to accept that the one thing you think you love most in this world has brought you so much unhappiness,” he continued. “It’s hard to let go of what you’ve always known. But fuck Bri, fuck it feels so good,” he groaned. There it was again - Bri. It made her heart flutter and she immediately felt silly for being so damn sappy. 

Brienne didn’t respond to him. There really wasn’t anything to say. She needed to decide if she really believed he was free of Cersei. He made a compelling case, but Brienne wondered if he could really resist if the Queen were to send for him. 

Jaime soaked a little longer and then announced it was time to get out. He started to stand and she quickly grabbed for a towel and held it up, blocking his body from her view as he walked towards her. “Did you want a turn?” he asked, wrapping himself in the towel. 

“I’m good,” she replied, suddenly realizing that there would be a time, eventually, that she was going to need to bathe with him in the room. Brienne decided not to think of that and busied herself by looking round the room while he got dressed. 

“Well this is different,” she heard him mutter. “But at least it’s warm.” When she turned and saw his clothing it was strange, but it oddly suited him - right down to the fur lined cape. Whether he liked it or not Jaime looked good in the clothes of a northerner. Brienne couldn’t stop looking at him. “That bad?” Jaime asked. 

Brienne felt her cheeks flush again. No, it’s absolutely the opposite, she thought. “Just different, that’s all,” she said, not willing to admit how handsome he looked. 

Jaime was really tired since he hadn’t got much sleep in the cell so Brienne agreed to spend a few hours in her room while he had a much needed nap. She thought back to his worries about having dinner with the others and decided maybe it was best to keep him in the room for a while anyway, until news started to spread that he was out and under her watch. It would be less shocking by dinner time when everyone knew. 

Things seemed to be going alright as they walked together on their way to dinner. There were whispers, but she’d expected that. It wasn’t until they passed by Bran Stark in the hallway talking to Arya that it all changed. Jaime’s face when sheet white and he kept walking, looking forward. When they got outside he took off running and finally stopped to puke. “Gods, Jaime,” Brienne panted after him. “What has got into you? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” 

He gasped for air and looked up at her, “I believe I have.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually hadn’t planned this chapter initially but with the way I ended Ch3 it only made sense that this one needed to happen. If you’ve read my work before you know I’m not heavy on angst. I prefer to keep things a bit lighter - heck the shows I watch are dark enough without carrying that over to fanfic too :) Anyway, I could have taken this a different direction and really made it angsty, but that wasn’t part of my overall plan so I do hope people feel satisfied with how I spun this. Thank you so much for reading. (PS if anyone is concerned about the ending rest assured this is 100% a Braime fic.)

Chapter 4 

“Would you mind terribly if we just went back to your room?” Jaime asked, looking quite pitiful. 

Brienne still had no idea what was going on, but he remained quite pale and she was worried about him. “Yeah of course,” she replied, offering him a hand to stand up. “I’ll ask Podrick to bring us up some food in case you feel like eating later.” Luckily Pod was close and she summoned him over. “Ser Jaime isn't feeling well so I'm taking him to rest. Will you be so kind as to bring us each a plate when you're finished dinner?” 

“Yes m’lady. Is there anything else he needs?” Podrick glanced over at Jaime and even he could tell how unsettled he was. 

“Just some food and wine will be fine,” she replied, dismissing him. They headed back to her chambers and once they were alone again he seemed to relax some. 

Someone had brought shackles and left them on her desk. Jaime picked them up, “I don't suppose there are for some kinky sex fetish you have, huh?” 

“Afraid not,” she replied, giving him an apologetic look. It wasn't going to be easy for either of them when she chained him up before bed. Sansa had been kind enough to send extra bedding and a mattress to put on the floor, so at least he would be warm and somewhat comfortable. 

Jaime put the shackles down and sunk into a chair with a sigh. “I'm sorry I ruined your dinner plans,” he said. 

Brienne rolled her eyes, “Whatever. There's always another meal,” she joked. “Are you going to tell me what that was all about?” She asked gently. 

“No,” he shook his head, replying quickly. “If I do you’ll march me straight back to that cell and never speak to me again.” 

“I highly doubt that,” Brienne scoffed at his drama. But she immediately wondered what was so bad that he would think that. “You might feel better if you talk about it,” she suggesting, hoping it would prod him enough to tell her. 

Jaime sat there quietly thinking. When he finally spoke his tone was somber. “You know I've done a lot of things in the past that I'm not proud of right?” Brienne nodded slowly. “Well I learned not all that long ago that this particular act was the worst of them all.” 

“Jaime, you can tell me what happened,” she said softly. “You know I believe you're a different man than you were before.” 

He looked her straight in the eye and his words sent her reeling like she'd been hit with a rock from a catapult. “I tried to kill Bran Stark.”

“Y- you - you what?” Brienne stammered. Bran had fallen when he was kid and the fall had left him paralysed. But she’d never heard of any other brushes with death. 

“Bran didn’t fall,” Jaime whispered. “I pushed him.” 

Brienne had to find a seat. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “How is that possible? Why hasn’t Bran told anyone? Why Ser Jaime? Why did you do it?” She was struggling to make sense of what she was hearing. 

“You know Cersei’s children were mine right?” he asked, looking away, unable to meet her eye. Brienne didn’t have to answer that because everyone knew, or at least believed it to be true. “Bran was climbing that day and he saw Cersei and I… together. We panicked… I panicked… there’s no excuse at all for what I did,” Jaime sighed. He looked like he was going to puke again and even though Brienne should have been disgusted with him she could see the struggle he was going through. The old Jaime wouldn't have felt the weight of such guilt. He’d truly changed and she had to believe he was incapable of doing anything like that ever again. “It wasn't until I watched Myrcella die in front of me that I truly understood what I had done.” He put his head in his hands. “She died and there was nothing I could do. I never had the chance to be her father, I was Uncle Jaime… and then she was gone. Joffrey before that and then Tommen too.” He slowly lifted his head, “I almost made Catelyn Stark feel the same pain I felt - and I know now that I wouldn't wish that kind of heartache on even my worst enemy.” 

Brienne was feeling a struggle inside herself. A raging battle that made her very uncomfortable. She believed his remorse but she felt guilty for not being repulsed by his actions. Well, it wasn't that she wasn't repulsed by what he'd done - there was no question she was disgusted but she also felt his pain and she wanted badly to take it away. 

Slowly she rose and walked towards him. Jaime had his head hung forward again but raised it when she put a hand on his shoulder. “I forgive you,” she whispered. 

Relief flooded his face and she watched his eyes fill with tears. It was then she knew for sure she had done the right thing. She knew him well enough to know that no one could loathe what he'd done more than himself. 

Jaime reached out and wrapped his arms around her, lay his cheek against her stomach. Brienne froze in shock as she felt his body jerk lightly with tiny sobs. She wasn't sure exactly what to do at first, but as he continued to cling to her she finally started to stroke his hair. Her fingers moved through his short, dark blonde locks, soft from his recent bath. This was a position she would have never imagined she would be comfortable being in, but in that moment it just felt right. 

Finally he looked up at her. “I need to talk to Bran,” he said, wiping his wet cheeks. Brienne was glad that he hadn’t felt awkward after what had just happened. 

“Jaime…” she started. “Bran isn’t… well…uh... Bran isn’t really Bran anymore.” The whole thing was very confusing, but she could only go by what Bran was telling everyone. “He calls himself the Three Eyed Raven.” 

Before she had a chance to explain further there was a knock on the door and Podrick came in with their supper. Jaime turned away to hide his tear stained face and Brienne quickly thanked Pod and got rid of him. “Why do you suppose Bran didn’t tell anyone what I did? I mean, he told everyone he doesn’t remember anything, but I’ve never believed that. I’ve always felt like he knew and for some reason he kept the truth to himself… but he was just a child when it happened… so I’m probably just feeding off my own guilt.” Jaime said, once he was sure Podrick had time to be out of earshot. 

“I don’t know why he would lie if he truly knew it was you,” she replied, unable to think of a reason off the top of her head. 

“I need to talk to him,” Jaime said again. 

“Okay,” Brienne nodded. “But first let’s eat dinner, get a good night’s sleep and try to survive breaking our fast in the morning without anyone trying to kill you.” 

“Oh so you agree now that it’s gonna be ugly?” Jaime said, giving her a smug grin. She was glad he was able to smile so soon after the emotional moment they’d had. 

Brienne shrugged. “No matter. I like a good challenge.” She handed him his plate. “Think you can eat now?” Jaime nodded and took it. They ate their food and drank their wine in silence. By the time they were through dinner though, Brienne had to pee - badly. “Can you look the other way while I take a piss? Or do I need to blindfold you?” She asked, quite serious. She would be mortified if he watched her. It wasn’t like she could just wander off into the bush this time. 

“I will behave m’lady,” Jaime said nobly. She did her business quickly, keeping an eye on him to make sure he honored his word - thankfully he did. Maybe it wouldn’t be so horrible after all, she thought. 

It wasn’t fully dark outside, but they both we ready to sleep anyway. Brienne removed her armour, but didn’t strip down to her usual night attire. Jaime took off the cape and started to climb into bed. As much as she didn’t want to do it, Brienne knew she had to. “Hold on,” she said, stopping him. She picked up the shackles. “I’m so sorry.” 

Jaime didn’t resist at all. “Do what you need to do,” he said, holding out his arms and standing still while she chained him up. Brienne helped him to the mattress in the corner of the room and Jaime laid down. “Thank you,” he said as she pulled the covers over him. “For this and… everything.” 

Brienne nodded. “Night Ser Jaime.” 

“Night Lady Brienne.” On the way to bed she stopped by the window and looked out. There were several people gathered near the gate. Curious, she watched for a while. Finally two figures entered and Brienne sighed. There was no mistaking the flaming red wildling hair on the first man - it seemed Tormund had made his return to Winterfell.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 

Brienne woke to a loud crash and a bunch of swearing. She jumped out of bed and threw open the curtain for light to see what was going on. As her eyes adjusted she saw Jaime lying in a heap on the floor. She rushed over, “Oh no, what happened? Are you okay?” 

He groaned. “I need to piss. I was trying not to wake you.” Brienne helped roll him over so she could remove the shackles when she noticed he already had one hand free. “You may have overlooked the fact that I can remove my golden hand.” She immediately felt like a complete moron. “Don’t worry though, I left everything else on,” he joked, with a laugh. Even with his missing hand free it would have taken him a lot of effort to remove the rest given he didn’t have working fingers. “Oh fuck, hurry please… I really gotta go…” She quickly got the shackles off and turned her back while he used the chamber pot. 

It was likely time they were up anyway, so Brienne didn’t head back to bed. Instead she thought about the two potential issues that the day would likely bring - Jaime at the table when they went to break their fast for starters and her wildling admirer Tormund. She was a lot more comfortable dealing with any issues that might arise at meal times than she was with the large ginger. She certainly wasn’t used to men looking at her the way Tormund did and while she’d always hoped one day a man would look at her like that… it certainly didn’t feel like she’d expected it would. Instead of flattered she felt mostly uncomfortable. 

Oh well, it didn’t matter anyway. Wherever she went Jaime would be with her so she would never have to worry about Tormund catching her alone. First things first, time to get food. “Let’s go eat before Podrick is banging on the door,” she said, when Jaime was finished relieving himself. They got fully dressed and headed for the dining hall. 

It was busy, as usual, and Brienne looked around for somewhere to sit. Her usual area had not one, but two new faces… Not only was Tormund back at Winterfell, but so was the Hound. That surprised her, given their conversation in King’s Landing and his past history with Arya. She felt annoyed that they were sitting at her table with Pod and some others. Did he really think she was just going to join them? 

Brienne huffed and Jaime gave her a look. “You okay?” He followed her gaze. “Oh the Hound is here? How strange.” 

“He’s not the problem,” she grumbled. 

Jaime looked some more. “The wildling?” Brienne scowled. “Wait a minute… are you two? Or were you?” 

“No,” she snapped quickly. “Not even close.” 

“Then what’s the problem?” Brienne didn’t have to answer because Tormund had spotted her and was giving her the biggest stupid grin she had ever seen. “Oh… I see.” Now Jaime was smiling too. “He’s got it bad for you.” 

“Shut up,” she hissed. Brienne ignored Podrick waving her over and led Jaime to another spot. 

Before they were both fully seated it had already begun. “What an honour to dine with the Kingslayer,” one man spat sarcastically. It was met with a bunch of cheers, jeers and laughter. Brienne felt her stomach knot but her anger quickly took over as the lead emotion. 

Another walked up and grabbed Jaime’s arm. “I wanna see that golden hand...” Jaime yanked himself away but the man grabbed at him again. “How much could we sell that thing for? Whaddya think boys? Should we just pull it off?” 

He gave Jaime’s arm a tug and Jaime responded instinctively by elbowing the man in the ribs after he yanked his arm away again. That's when all hell broke loose. Jaime got to his feet ready to defend himself and the crowd that had gathered was yelling angrily. 

Brienne jumped into action. She pulled her out her dagger and in a flash she was behind the man threatening Jaime with her knife at his throat. “You’ll leave Ser Jaime alone or I will cut you,” she growled in his ear. 

He roughly shoved her away but it was in surrender. “He must have a golden cock too,” he said, getting in one last joke as he walked away. 

Brienne ignored him and stabbed her dagger into the wooden table forcefully. “Sit,” she commanded Jaime. It was harsh and rude, and he likely thought she was blaming him for what had just happened, but in all honesty she just needed to cool off. “Sorry,” she said eventually. 

“Me too,” Jaime replied. He really didn't have a thing to be sorry about yet he was taking share in the blame. She looked up from her bowl and they shared a smile. “Don't look now but your admirer is looking a bit cranky.” 

Of course she looked anyway and saw that Tormund seemed quite annoyed. As hard as she tried not to she smiled again. Now maybe he’ll just head on back to the wall, she thought. Brienne finished up her food, attempting to ignore the stares and grumbling surrounding them. She knew they looked at her like a traitor, but Brienne was fine with it because she was doing as requested by Lady Sansa - and because she knew Jaime wasn’t what they all believed he was. She could only hope that in time he would be accepted by everyone including Sansa… though his admission about Bran could seriously change that course. If Sansa and Arya found out… they would not be as forgiving as she had. She wondered if maybe she should talk Jaime into just leaving it alone unless Bran said something. It worried her that he might be ready to die for his past actions and could easily make a fatal mistake. 

Podrick showed up in front of her and distracted Brienne from her thoughts. “What are they doing here?” she asked, before Pod even had a chance to speak. 

“Bran summoned Tormund apparently, but no one knows why yet. He ran into Clegane on the way down from East Watch and talked him into coming back to Winterfell with him so they could both travel back up there together later,” Podrick explained. Brienne wondered what Bran, or the Three Eyed Raven wanted with Tormund of all people. She was somehow sure the gods were conspiring against her for some past misdeed. 

They went outside after they finished up and Jaime found a quiet spot to huddle while Brienne worked on oiling and cleaning Oathkeeper. She was almost finished when the moment she was hoping to avoid finally happened. “It’s good to see you again Lady Brienne.” She didn’t have to look up at all to determine exactly who was speaking to her. The wildling accent was unmistakable. 

“Likewise,” she said politely, refusing to look up. 

“Can I help you with that?” he asked, stepping closer and reaching towards her sword. 

“I got it,” Brienne snapped. It wasn’t even anything against him but there was literally only one other person she would allow to touch Oathkeeper and that was the man who gave it to her. 

“Valyrian steel,” he mused. “Wow…” Tormund seemed genuinely impressed, as he should be. Oathkeeper was one of the finest swords in the Seven Kingdoms. 

“Ser Jaime gave it to me - to protect Lady Sansa and Lady Arya,” Brienne said. Her words were truthful, but she was also taking a jab at him too. She felt bad when she saw the wounded look on his face so she decided to play nice for a moment. “How long are you in Winterfell?” 

“No more than a fortnight I hope. There’s work to be done… you saw the wight they took to King’s Landing right?” She shivered and nodded, then wondered how he’d even known she was there until she remembered the Hound. “So I won’t be here that long,” he added. Tormund stepped a bit closer, “In case you’re interested in…” 

Before he could finish a voice spoke from behind her. “Lady Brienne, are you going to introduce me to your friend?”

“Tormund - Ser Jaime. Ser Jaime - Tormund,” she gave a less than enthusiastic intro. Jaime extended his gloved golden hand to shake and Tormund took it, with a very strange look of confusion that almost made Brienne laugh. Clearly the legend of his golden hand hadn’t made it north of the wall and Tormund must have been too far away to hear the man talking about it in the dining hall earlier. 

“I don’t mean to interrupt,” Jaime began. Tormund made a snorting sound that basically said ‘of course you do.’ Brienne glanced sideways at Jaime as he continued. “I was hoping once you finished polishing up Oathkeeper that you might put him away and grab a sparring sword?” 

Did Jaime have any idea that asking her to spar was comparable to a knight asking a noble Lady to dance at a ball? Sparring was like a dance, and it was a dance she was very, very good at. Jaime knew she could easily take him on, so she realized he was doing it to relieve her from Tormund. “I would be honoured,” she replied. 

“Mind if I watch the show?” Tormund asked, following them. Brienne shrugged. She couldn’t stop him, or anyone else from watching if they wanted to. Thankfully most were keeping their distance from Jaime so the audience would be minimal. 

The second the two of them started it was like everyone else disappeared anyway. She looked Jaime in the eye and gave him a smug smile. But it wore off quickly because he was far better than she’d imagined he would ever get with his non dominant hand. That meant she had a challenge though, which left her tingling inside with excitement. They sparred hard for quite some time before she was able to overtake him and play the first kill shot. “I’m impressed,” she said, giving him a sincere smile. 

“You’re going easy on me,” Jaime replied. It was true, she had been going a bit easy on him, but she didn’t think it would be obvious to anyone. Jaime drew close so he was only inches from her face. Brienne felt her heart start to beat faster and she held her breath. She couldn’t look away from his stare. “Show me what you’ve got Brienne,” he whispered. 

She quickly realized that he’d likely been trying to throw her off her game because he put her strictly to defense right off the start. Slowly she worked her way back and took control until finally she had Jaime flat on the ground with her sword to his throat. Once again they stared at each other until finally Jaime smiled at her and she smiled back. 

“I want a turn,” Tormund said, jumping to his feet as she gave Jaime a hand to help him up off the ground. “Me next,” he added eagerly. 

As usual the Hound was suddenly there to interrupt with his eloquent advice, spoke just loud enough for the three of them to hear. “Oh give it up you dumb fuck,” he said to Tormund. “Her legs are only gonna open for one of the three men here… And it sure as shit ain’t me or you…” he glanced at Jaime and then wandered off with a chuckle. Brienne knew her mouth was gaping as she looked from Tormund to Jaime. One had a huge scowl, the other a huge grin - and she only understood one of them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure there are Tormund fans here, even if we know he doesn't belong with Brienne ;) If you're worried at all about how he's portrayed in this chapter, please trust me :)

Brienne poked at the food on her plate but forced herself to eat. With the rationing they were doing in preparation for both the winter and the battle it was important to eat her share when it was served since she couldn't just grab what she wanted when she was hungry. 

She thought about what had transpired several hours ago and what was about to come once they were all finished eating. After her and Jaime had finished sparring and The Hound had wandered by leaving his commentary, Tormund decided he didn’t want to spar with her, but Jaime instead. 

Much to her protest Jaime had agreed but he wanted to wait until after dinner so he could fully rest up. Now they were all sitting at the same dinner table and Tormund was constantly scowling in Jaime’s direction, while Jaime pretended not to notice. 

Podrick was talking non stop to the Hound about King’s Landing but Brienne hadn't really paid enough attention to figure out exactly what they were discussing. She didn't care. All she cared about what the stupid tough guy display that was about to happen out in the courtyard. Did she think Jaime could out spar Tormund? Absolutely… if the cranky, jealous wildling actually played by the rules. She wasn't sure Tormund was used to conventional sparring and Jaime certainly wouldn't be prepared for a more physical style of combat. 

“You're pretty quiet?” Jaime said, nudging her slightly. She glared at him. “Relax, it's just sparring.” He looked over at Tormund and then leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “I know I can take him.” 

Brienne risked a glance at Tormund and saw his eyes flash. He pushed back from the table, “I'll be waiting outside.” Podrick looked surprised. The Hound looked rather unimpressed. And Jaime looked completely thrilled.

Brienne elbowed him in the ribs, “Would you knock it off.” He gave her an innocent shrug and she rolled her eyes. He was having way too much fun tormenting the ginger and she wasn't even sure why. It's not like he had feelings for her and was about to engage in some age old tradition of fighting for her hand. She kept thinking about that smile on his face after the Hound made the crude comment about spreading her legs. She still wanted to stick a dagger under his ribs for pointing out her attraction to Jaime. But what did his smile mean? We he just being smug and cocky over the comment? It had been a stroke of his ego for sure, so that had to be it. 

“Well, I guess it's time,” Jaime announced, standing up. 

Brienne stood too, “you really don't have to do this.” 

“Of course he does,” the Hound chuckled. “Two men, battling it out for the heart of a fair maiden…” 

“Oh Fuck off,” Brienne snapped at him. He smirked at her but knew enough to keep his mouth shut. “Ser Jaime…” she tried again. 

“Just come, help me pick out the winning sparring sword,” he said, beaming at her. Am I the one sane person here? She wondered. They've all gone fucking crazy, she decided. 

Begrudgingly she went with Jaime and found a good sword. “Don’t be an asshole,” she said, handing it to him. 

“Never m’lady,” he replied, giving her some grandiose bow thing and an extremely sexy smile. Why did he have to be so fucking handsome and so damn charming? As hard as she tried to stay mad at him she found that as soon as the sparring match started she was too lost in the fight to hold her grudge. 

As she’d expected the first round was very one sided. Tormund was strong, but he was much slower than Jaime and he was able to easily dance around him, dodging blows and fending Tormund off. Brienne knew Jaime was just toying with him and could have ended it in a matter of seconds if he wanted to. Eventually he went on the offensive and had the blunt tip of his sword at Tormund’s throat in no time. 

“Again,” Tormund growled, taking a step back to shake himself off. Brienne considered telling him it was ridiculous and they’d had their fun, but she really enjoyed watching Jaime battle. She knew it had been a real struggle for him when he lost his sword hand, but somehow with grit and determination he’d learned how to fight almost as well with his left hand. He was skilled and almost graceful when he fought and he had a look on his face that showed how much he enjoyed the challenge. 

Things were going much the same until Tormund blocked a shot and used his strength to push Jaime back with a loud snarl. It was clear his ginger temper was coming into play and that made Brienne nervous. She stood and started to pace. It wasn’t surprising when things got way more physical. Tormund suddenly came down on Jaime with the handle of his sword crashing into the centre of his chest. It sent Jaime reeling backwards and Brienne could tell he was in pain. 

“Hey,” she yelled out. But Jaime somehow stayed on his feet and waved her off before he charged at Tormund and they went right back to it. He knocked the sword out of Tormund’s hand and paused to give him a cocky sneer. That enraged the wildling who flew at Jaime with his fists as the only weapon he had left. Jaime dodged the first punch but the second grazed his lip, splitting it open. “Stop,” Brienne shouted, but to no avail. 

Jaime dropped his sword and started swinging wildly. Hand to hand combat was definitely not his forte, Brienne decided. It didn't help that he could really only punch with one hand. Yet he somehow managed to catch Tormund square on the nose and in seconds he had blood dripping down his face too. 

He got the upper hand quickly after that and had Jaime on his back on the ground. Tormund pounced and raised his fist to strike another blow. Brienne saw it all happening in slow motion. If he hit Jaime that hard there was no telling what kind of damage he would do. Just before he could strike the Hound flew in with a boot to Tormund’s shoulder. “That's enough boys,” he said as he sent Tormund sprawling to the ground. “Let's call it a tie, shall we?” The Hound met her eye and she gave him a nod of gratitude. 

A bit of a crowd has gathered by that point, but she ignored them all. Instead she marched straight over to Jaime and held out a hand. “Let’s go,” she commanded sharply. “Show’s over,” she snapped at the onlookers as she led Jaime through the crowd towards her room. 

He didn't say a word until they were in the room. “Well that was different,” he mumbled, wincing in pain from the split on his lip. 

“Sit down,” she said, pointing at the nearest chair. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” she added with a sigh. She was pissed off at him for fighting in the first place but she couldn't get the image of Tormund all set to pummel Jaime’s face out of her head. It made her physically ill and it also made her anger towards him dissipate. 

She grabbed some supplies and poured a little water from the jug into the wash basin. When she came back to where he was seated she noticed that there was blood coming through his shirt too. She had thought it was from his lip originally but the bleeding from his lip had slowed and there was more on his shoulder. “You're cut there too,” she said, pointing. “You're gonna have to take your shirt off.” 

Jaime tried to do it himself but winced in pain so she helped him pull it off. There was a gash near his collarbone that was bleeding pretty good. She put pressure on it for a moment with a cloth and then took a peek. Thankfully it didn't look bad enough for stitches. 

She had been too distracted by the bleeding at first to realize he was once again shirtless before her. With her heart pounding she let her eyes drift over his lean, muscled chest and abdomen, only for a second though in hopes she wouldn't get caught. She turned her attention to his lip and dabbed at it with a wet cloth to clear away some of the blood. “Ouch,” he muttered. 

“It would have hurt a lot more if the Hound hadn't stepped in,” she said softly. She wasn't saying it to make him feel bad for fighting, but because she’d been terrified watching that moment unfold. “That was hard to watch,” she added, meeting his eyes. 

Jaime nodded, “I'm sorry.” His voice was gentle and the apology was genuine. "Wildlings fight differently, that's all. Don't be mad at him." Now he was defending his opponent that could have killed him? Yep, now she was sure she was the only sane one left. 

“Oh my,” Brienne gasped, noticing the bruise that was forming on his chest, right around his heart. Without thinking she reached out and placed her hand gently over the bruised area. “That looks bad,” she whispered. His skin was warm under her hand and even though she knew she should Brienne couldn't bring herself to move her hand. If she pulled it away it would have started shaking instantly. 

Jaime lifted his left hand and set it on top of hers. Brienne felt like she couldn't breathe. His heart was pounding against her palm, much the same as her own was inside her chest. He curled his fingers slightly, as if he was holding her hand. “I need you to know something,” he said, his voice hoarse and raw. Brienne looked down at him, into his beautiful eyes so full of emotion. “You're worth it Bri. To me, you're worth it.” 

It was as if he was answering the very question she'd been thinking - was it really worth it? To get hurt this badly? But instead he was making it about her and it left her very, very confused once again. 

He was still holding her hand on his chest and Brienne wasn't ready to pull away even though she knew she should. Jaime made her body react so strangely. She felt she warm inside, hot actually. But her muscles felt so weak, in a good way though. Her head was filled with thoughts and desires that she really hadn't felt before. Is this what lust feels like? She wondered. 

“Brienne?” Jaime spoke her name and she loved the way it sounded in his voice. “What the Hound said, earlier when you and I were done sparring…” His voice trailed off and once again she couldn't breathe. “Will you tell me… was it true?” She had never heard his voice so tentative or unsure - as if he was nervous of her answer. 

Brienne didn't know what to say. Should she lie? She had to lie, right? She couldn't tell him the truth. She couldn't tell Jaime how she felt about him. How embarrassing would that be? And how awkward for both of them. 

While she was still scrambling to decide what to say he spoke again, “Nevermind, you don't need to answer that. It wasn't a fair question.” Brienne honestly didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed. “But I do need you to know something…” Jaime lifted her hand off his chest and held it fully in his. It made her body feel tingles all over. “Being here… with you..” He gave her a huge, bright smile and then almost dropped her to her knees with his honesty, “It's truly the happiest I've been in a very, very long time.”


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Brienne and Jaime headed out for a ride. Jaime wanted to take his horse for a run and make sure she was feeling okay after the long journey he’d put her through to get to Winterfell. They bundled up to fight the frigid breeze and left through the gates. She knew they wouldn’t be out too long given the temperatures that day and the fact that she didn’t think the Lannister southerner would last too long out there if he actually had a choice. 

She had to admit that she enjoyed getting out of the confines of the castle walls once in awhile. It was nice to have a place to lay your head, a place to call home for the time being, but she had grown accustomed to being a bit of a roamer. 

They didn’t work the horses too hard because they didn’t want them to work up a sweat and then freeze, so they just took a slow pace around the wall, not straying too far at all. Eventually Jaime decided the horses needed a bit of a rest so they dismounted and tied them to a tree. The two of them started to wander as it was way too cold to just stand in one place. 

Their conversation the night before had been mostly dropped and they hadn’t revisited any part of it - until then. Out of nowhere Jaime said what was on his mind,” He’s very determined you know.” 

Brienne could have played dumb and asked who he was talking about, but she already knew and it would just prolong things. “I got that sense,” she sighed. 

“I’m not kidding,” he continued. “I haven’t seen such determination in anyone. It’s admirable really - I actually respect him.” 

“You respect him?” Brienne repeated. “You respect a man who decides he wants a woman and just pursues her whether she likes it or not?” 

“Oh come on,” he protested. “You have to admit you’re at least a bit flattered by the attention.” She shrugged, annoyed because he was right - it was a bit flattering, but more irritating really. “If he pushes too far I promise you - he won’t make it back to the wall,” Jaime threatened. “But I believe he’s harmless - he’s just very smitten with you and cocky enough to believe he can charm you into his bed.” 

“Not happening. Ever,” Brienne replied. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way… but why not?” Jaime asked. Brienne snapped her head to look at him. Was he serious? “I’m just asking,” he added quickly. “I’m by no means suggesting it. It’s just… well, he’s heading back to the wall soon and you may never see him again… If you’re not looking for a long term prospect it’s a rather convenient idea…” 

Brienne was feeling so angry she wanted to punch him. Did he really think she was the type to just sleep with random men? “You think I need sex? Is that it?” she spat. “Because I don’t. I don’t need it. I’ve gone this long without it…” Her voice trailed off and her cheeks started to burn at her angry response. It wasn’t as if Jaime didn’t already know she was a virgin, they’d had that conversation before. 

“Fuck,” Jaime stopped and gently grabbed her wrist. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean it like that. Please, I was being insensitive,” He looked sorry, but she was still angry. “Brienne, please listen to me… What I said was stupid - really fucking stupid. I’ve been around so many kinds of people in my life - those who cheat on their spouses, those who will never marry but fuck any chance they get, whores at the many brothels, and truly honorable Ladies.” He let his hand slip from her wrist to her hand. “It was wrong of me to think that you’re anything but the last category.” 

She knew he was trying really hard to make things right. “It’s not that…” She mumbled. Brienne wanted to explain it properly. She felt like she needed to make him understand. “I’m not a Lady, Ser Jaime, not in that sense… not any more. I’m never going to return to Tarth and wait for my Father to arrange a marriage. I don’t need my virginity intact so some noble will agree to marry me in exchange for some deal or truce with my father. But…” She sucked in a long deep breath, “Is it so wrong to want my first time to be with a man I love?” 

Jaime’s eyes were soft and warm. He shook his head, “No Bri, that’s not wrong at all. It’s beautiful.” He squeezed her hand, “Whoever he turns out to be… he’s a very, very lucky man.” 

“Please don’t patronize me,” she grumbled. “I know I’m not the kind of woman that men lust over.” Brienne was very comfortable with what she’d made of herself. She didn’t need to be beautiful to be a warrior or to protect those she swore an oath to. She was honorable, smart, kind and tough. Enough people had made it clear she was not, nor would ever be, pretty - and she’d accepted that. 

“Don’t assume you know all men,” Jaime replied. Brienne felt her breath catch in her chest. “Tormund thinks you’re beautiful.” Oh, of course… she should have known that’s where he was going. “And I think you’re beautiful too.” Wait, what? Did Jaime just say he thinks she’s beautiful? He was still holding her hand and Brienne suddenly felt panicked. Her instinct was to pull away, but she didn’t. “You don’t believe me, I can see it in your eyes. But I’m telling you the truth Brienne. You trust me, right?” She nodded. That was one thing she knew for sure. “Then believe me when I say I would never lie to you. You’re beautiful to me and if others can’t see that… it’s their loss.” 

Brienne couldn’t speak. Her mind was racing, trying to figure out why Jaime was telling her this and the implications of it all. The only thing she could come up with was that he was being kind. Brienne knew he cared about her and wanted her to be happy, so he was likely trying to make her feel better. But his words wouldn’t leave her mind or her heart. ‘You’re beautiful to me…’ There was so much the little girl inside her wanted to say, but the grown woman stopped her from embarrassing herself. Whether or not he thought she was beautiful didn’t translate into him being attracted to her the same way she was to him. 

She really had no idea how long they had been standing there silent, but finally Jaime spoke again. “It’s really fucking cold. We should probably go back.” Brienne nodded in agreement. He was still holding her hand and before he let it go he lifted it to his mouth and kissed it, then gave her one of his best smiles. As Brienne followed him back to the horses she felt like she was walking on fluffy clouds not snow. She wished she hadn’t been wearing gloves so she could feel his lips on her skin. With a silent deep breath she got herself in check before he turned and saw her looking so giddy. 

When they got back to Winterfell and stabled the horses Podrick was doing some equipment repairs so Jaime wandered over to help him. Brienne decided to hang back and watch, knowing the two of them were all thumbs when it came to that kind of thing. At least Jaime had the excuse of only having one hand… but still, she was sure it was going to be quite entertaining. 

She was right. It wasn’t long before Jaime was kicking something in frustration and the normally quite mellow Podrick was cursing like crazy. “What’s so funny?” A voice said from behind her. Brienne turned and Sansa walked up beside her. 

“Oh just those two buffoons trying to do repairs,” she replied, nodding towards Jaime and Pod. 

 

“At least they’re trying, unlike those buffoons,” Sansa said, rolling her eyes at the group of men who were playing some sort of game with a ball. Brienne nodded in agreement. “So how are things going with Ser Jaime?” 

Brienne thought she detected some sort of smile on Sansa’s lips, but it was gone as fast as it came and she wondered if she’d just imagined it. “Other than a little scuffle in the dining hall things have been alright.” 

“I heard there was also a bit of a sparring incident,” Sansa said, giving her a knowing look. Brienne wasn’t going to mention that, but clearly Sansa didn’t miss a thing so she might as well have been honest. “Is that anything I need to be worried about?” 

“Just two dumb men being dumb men,” Brienne said with a shrug. “Jaime has been extremely cooperative. Like I said before, I really believe we can trust him.” Her words may have come out a little too passionately and they left Sansa looking at her with that little grin again. 

“You like him,” she said.

“I do,” Brienne replied seriously. “He’s always been kind and generous to me.” 

“No, I mean you like him,” Sansa said again raising her eyebrows. 

“No, it’s not like that…” Brienne tried to protest but Sansa giggled and she gave up. Did everyone know how she felt about Jaime? 

“I’m sorry Lady Brienne, I won’t tease,” Sansa apologized. “It’s just nice to see that love is in the air even amidst all the doom and gloom we face.” Love? Brienne hadn’t even considered that emotion. Am I in love with Ser Jaime? She wondered. 

She was so busy pondering that question she didn’t even notice that Jaime had come over and joined them. “Lady Sansa,” he said, approaching her very formally. “I haven’t had the chance to thank you for allowing me to stay here.” 

Sansa smiled, “You have Lady Brienne to thank for that. I was considering executing you but she was very convincing. You’re lucky you have her on your side.” 

Jaime looked over at Brienne and nodded, “I am very… very... lucky.” He stared at her way longer than necessary until Brienne finally looked away with flushed cheeks. “Well, I’ll leave you two ladies to your conversation, my apologies for the interruption.” He bowed and backed away, but not before he gave Brienne a look and a little smile. 

Once he was out of earshot Sansa grabbed her hand and leaned close. The words she whispered before she walked away sent tingles down Brienne’s spine and made her cheeks flush yet again, “He likes you too.” 

So much had happened that morning that had her mind and emotions swirling. She really wasn’t great company for the rest of the day because she was way too lost in thought. So many questions - did she love Jaime? Was Jaime really interested in her? Why had he told her she was beautiful? Why had he brought up her sleeping with Tormund? The list of questions she had no answer to kept getting longer and longer the more she thought. 

There was only one thing she wanted to do after supper, before calling it a night. Brienne wanted a nice, long, hot bath. Something that was normally such a simple and relaxing task now presented a huge challenge. Could she really get naked with Jaime in the same room, even though it wouldn’t be the first time he’d seen her nude? Especially with all the feelings and thoughts rolling around in her mind. Brienne sighed. Why couldn’t things just be simple?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to start yet again by saying THANK YOU!!!! Now, just for a little comment about the chapter - we know that Brienne is a virgin, but for the purposes of this fic I’m going to assume that she had literally no sexual experience including kissing or self stimulation. It may seem unrealistic but I just feel like it will make for a better story if she gets to experience everything for the first time. With that said, this one starts moving towards that M rating that I’ll get to fully in the coming chapters ;) Hope you enjoy!

I could put him in the cell, just for an hour, Brienne thought as she made her way towards the bath with Jaime in tow. He looked positively thrilled when she told him where they were headed. He knew as well as she did that she wouldn’t lock him up in that cell again unless absolutely necessary and unfortunately her pride wasn’t a good enough excuse, especially since he’d already seen her nude once anyway. 

When they got into the room she shut and locked the door. Then Brienne found a chair, set it facing the wall in the opposite direction of the tub and pointed at it. “You sit here and stare straight ahead until I tell you I’m done,” she commanded. “No peeking or I swear to the gods I’ll put you in the cell next time.” 

He sat down as told and then looked up at her. “You’re being truly ridiculous,” he said with a half smile. “You know I’ve seen you naked before right? I remember exactly what you look like too,” he said flirtatiously. “Every curve…” he continued, letting his eyes drop from her face. “Every…”

“Okay, enough,” she jumped in. “Last time was an accident, this time I know what I’m doing so you can stare at the wall while I soak in that hot tub and let all my worries melt away,” she finished with a long sigh. 

“And what worries you Lady Brienne?” he asked, reaching out to graze her fingertips with his. His touch was like a jolt of lightning sending a current of hot energy through her body. Did he know what he was doing to her? Was he doing it on purpose? She wondered. And if he was - why? Well fuck, more questions to add to that ever growing list. 

“The battle to come… whether or not Sansa will ever send that raven… you opening your big mouth about what happened with Bran…” Brienne started naming off things, obviously skipping the ones that had been consuming her that very day. 

This time it was his turn to sigh. “I’ll wait a little longer and hopefully earn Sansa’s trust first, but eventually I need to talk to Bran - find out why he hasn’t told anyone or if he true doesn't remember and… apologize.” Brienne wanted so badly to admire what he wanted to do but she was too scared it was a suicide mission. “Is that all?” He asked. “Or do you have other things on your mind?” 

“That’s all,” she lied. That’s all I’m telling you about anyway. “You’re going to behave right?” Brienne asked, letting him see in her face and eyes how badly she wanted him to say yes. 

“I will,” he nodded. “But Bri, you know you have an amazing body, right?” 

She didn’t answer, but couldn’t hold back the smile as she turned and walked away. Maybe he was just being nice, or maybe he was flirting with her for fun… but hearing him say that was very flattering. Brienne knew she was lean and toned from all her training. She’d also developed decent enough sized breasts, thankfully not too big though because they really just got in the way and made her armour fit weird. She’d always tried to flatten them as much as possible by binding them, but there wasn’t anything she could about them when she was naked. 

She quickly stripped off her clothes, checking every few seconds to make sure Jaime wasn’t peeking. So far it appeared he was being a good boy. Once she stepped into the deep tub and sunk down she felt much better. Even if he turned and looked he wouldn’t be able to see anything anymore. 

Brienne sunk her shoulders under the hot water and leaned back, closing her eyes. Just for a moment she let all her thoughts fade away and enjoyed the warmth and relaxation. Finally she opened her eyes and reached for the soap. It was a luxury they didn’t always have and would likely run out of way before the winter ended, so she decided to enjoy it while she could. 

She lathered up her body, glancing over at Jaime while she did. His broad shoulders, his dark blonde hair… Brienne felt her heart rate start to pick up. He was so handsome, beautiful even, but it was so much more than just his physical appearance - she loved his personality and the way he treated her too. Brienne’s eyes widened at the word she’d just used in her mind and it all became very clear - she really was in love with Jaime Lannister. 

Brienne had given up on love and everything that came with it a long time ago. She had never let herself fantasize about anything to do with men - not even kissing or… sex. It was kind of hard to imagine what something would feel like that was so foreign. But staring at Jaime’s back, running her soapy hands over her breasts and stomach… she really wanted to know. There were things happening inside her that were so strange and new. Her body felt hot, not on the outside from the water, but inside - like a fire was raging. She squirmed and pressed her legs together, but it didn’t help - there was an ache there, right between her legs and her body was screaming for something… she just didn’t know what. 

She tried to imagine what it would be like for Jaime to kiss her lips… her neck… maybe other places… She’d seen plenty of people kiss, both formally and passionately - how hard could it be? Most of them seemed like they were enjoying it too. She was quite sure Jaime would be a great kisser, but even if he wasn’t, how would she know any better anyway? 

Brienne ran the soap down her stomach, lower and lower, until she had it between her legs. The feeling inside her when she rubbed herself with the bar was shocking. It made the heat inside her intensify until there was a constant aching throb that was begging for attention. She rubbed a little more and it made her squirm again. It felt amazing, so amazing it was almost scary. She considered stopping, but she just couldn’t. She abandoned the soap and let it drop to the bottom of the tub and started to rub lightly with her fingers. She was shocked to feel herself so slippery with a thick moisture that washed away in the water as she touched it. 

 

Brienne glanced at Jaime again to be certain he wasn't watching her and then continued. If he had any idea what she was doing under the water… that thought alone somehow turned her on even more. The thrill of potentially getting caught was somehow erotic to her. She didn't know if that was at all normal, but she didn't care at that point. All she knew was that her body would not let her stop until something happened. She could feel this build up inside her like an explosion was coming and she squeezed her eyes shut. Fuck it if Jaime saw or not, she was fully committed. 

All of a sudden she felt something change and then she was consumed by the most incredible feeling she had ever experienced. She bit her lip because there was a scream that wanted to escape her and she knew she couldn’t let it out. Blackness seemed to surround her, followed by bright flashes as the ecstasy washed over her from head to toe. It rippled and coursed through her like a tidal wave at first and then a raging river, eventually starting to drift off to more of a slow meandering stream. 

When she finally opened her eyes she could still feel the remnants inside her and a throbbing between her legs. Could sex actually feel better than that? She wondered. Because if it did she wasn't sure she would survive it. 

Brienne took a few deep breaths and then decided it was time to get out. The water was cooling off by that point anyway. Her legs were wobbly from her experimentation and that blissful experience so Brienne grabbed the side of the tub to steady herself. Just as she went to step out her foot hit something - the soap - and she slipped. She cried out as she fell, coming down hard. The side of the tub ended up in her armpit and when she hit the force swung her face and she wound up hitting her lip on the side of the tub too. There was a huge splash as she fell back into the water and it sloshed over the edge of the tub. 

 

“Brienne?” she heard Jaime yell. He was beside the tub looking down at her in a matter of seconds. “Are you okay?” he looked extremely concerned. 

“I… uh… I think so,” she muttered, feeling extremely embarrassed. “I stepped on the soap getting out,” she explained. With all the water she’d spilled out of the tub the water no longer covered her and her breasts were exposed. She quickly crossed her arms over her chest, wincing in pain from where the tub had hit her. She also felt pain in her bottom lip and was pretty sure she’d split it open. “I’m fine… really. You can go back to your chair while I get out.” 

“I don’t think so,” Jaime shook his head. “Let me help you out,” he offered a hand. Brienne stubbornly shook her head. “Come on, don’t be an ass,” he protested. “I don’t want to have to send a raven to Tarth - ‘Lady Brienne, fought many battles and survived, but met her demise from a stray bar of soap in the bath.’” Despite her best efforts Brienne laughed at his joke. “Give me your hand,” he said, reaching out again. 

“Close your eyes,” Brienne insisted. He obeyed and when his eyes were closed she reached for his hand. He kept them closed while he helped her out. It was going well but just as she went to step out with the second foot it slipped just a bit and Jaime grabbed her around the waist to steady her. His eyes flew open and their faces were close. He was too close to see her body, but he could certainly feel it. His gold hand was on her hip, the metal felt cool, and he’d pulled her against his chest protectively. 

Brienne froze. She couldn’t move and couldn’t speak. Her bare breasts were pressed against his body, and she was getting his clothes damp. His lips were only inches from her own and his eyes were looking right into hers. “I got you,” he whispered, holding her gaze as he reached blindly for the towel. He released her slowly, as he moved the towel between them. He never once looked away from her eyes and Brienne realized he was fully respecting her wishes. 

Once she had wrapped herself up he looked down at her lip. Jaime reached out and touched it lightly. “You’re bleeding,” he announced as he let her go. Brienne ducked her head and wiped her lip on the towel leaving a little streak of blood. “I guess we match now,” he said with a grin. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone how you got your battle scars,” Jaime chuckled. “Are you okay now?” he asked, looking at her with concern. 

“I… uh… yeah,” she stammered. “I’m fine now.” 

“Good. Good,” he said with a nod. Then he leaned in close and kissed her on the forehead. It certainly wasn’t where she’d been imagining him kissing her, but the effect it had on her heart was remarkable. Brienne was sure it completely skipped a beat and then swelled so huge she thought her chest was going to burst. “I’ll go back to my chair while you get dressed,” Jaime said before strolling away slowly. 

Brienne watched him walk away and suddenly remembered that she needed to breathe. She sucked in a long deep gulp of air and mused over what had just occurred. Well, at least she’d figured out one thing for sure, even if she had more questions than when she started - she now knew she was absolutely and completely in love with Jaime Lannister.


	9. Chapter 9

Brienne had to admire the way Jaime had thrown himself into helping out. Sometimes she joined in too and other times she stayed back and “supervised.” He was often with Podrick, Tormund and the Hound because most of the others were still very much on guard around Jaime. Some would never accept that he’d changed. Others might, but it would take a while. 

She also hung back sometimes because she found the dynamic between Jaime and Tormund quite intriguing. Jaime had said before that he had respect for Tormund and even though the ginger made it seem like he could just barely tolerate Jaime… Brienne got the sense the respect was actually mutual. If Tormund didn’t see Jaime as a competitor for her affection they would likely get on quite well. 

As it was though… it seemed like everything they did was a competition and they both checked frequently to see if she was watching - especially the one who happened to be “winning” at the time. Whether it was carrying and stacking wood, filling water jugs, sharpening weapons, starting fires or even clearing away the night’s snowfall in the morning - it was always turned into a head to head challenge. She had no doubt that both men also had a mental tally of the score too and could rhyme it off when asked. 

“Who knew two men vying for the attention of a… warrior woman… could make them so productive,” Sansa commented as she joined Brienne by the fire. 

Brienne politely ignored her, “Good morning Lady Sansa.” 

Sansa laughed. “You know I’m only teasing you right Lady Brienne? Sometimes it’s just nice to smile at something normal and familiar.” 

“You’re right m’lady,” Brienne agreed. Sansa did have a point. The two fools really were a good distraction. “Though I’m still not so sure they’re really vying for my attention…” Sansa gave her a look like she had two heads. “Oh I know Tormund is, but I think Ser Jaime is just playing along for fun or to annoy Tormund.” 

Sansa was already shaking her head before Brienne was finished. “No, believe me - he’s every bit as smitten as Tormund is. It’s not an act at all.” 

“How do you know?” Brienne blurted out. Sansa seemed so certain but she just couldn’t see it. 

Sansa smiled and thought for a moment. “To me it’s quite obvious - I’m sure it is to most actually. But you don’t believe Ser Jaime could feel that way about you so you won’t let yourself see it.” Brienne let her words sink it and realized she was very likely right. “If you let yourself believe it’s possible… you’ll see it. I promise. Just watch the way he looks at you… the way he lights up… the way he smiles, just a little - because he’s trying to to get caught. He also sneaks glances at you when you’re not looking, maybe you catch him sometimes, maybe not, but believe me - it’s happening.” 

“But what happens if… or when I do see it?” Brienne asked, staring at Jaime while she spoke. “What do I do then?” 

“That depends on how you feel and what you want,” Sansa replied. “I know you have feelings for him too, but if you’re not ready…” 

“I think I am…” Brienne whispered. It felt strange talking to someone about her deepest feelings, especially Lady Sansa who was much younger. But Sansa had been through alot in her life and she was wise far beyond her years. 

“Then you need to tell him how you feel.” Sansa smiled, “Or find a way to make him tell you first.” She bit her lip and giggled, “Or you could show him how you feel.” 

Brienne felt her cheeks go pink, but thankfully her face was already red from the cold. “So what do I do about the other one?” 

Sansa sighed, “Well that’s a bit more of a challenge isn’t it?” She shrugged apologetically, “Find a way to let him down gently I guess?” It was the first time Sansa wasn’t confident in her advice. “I need to go talk to Arya… Good luck,” she said, gently patting Brienne’s arm before she left. 

Brienne turned her attention back to the men. She tried her best to convince herself that it really was possible that Jaime had feelings for her, but it wasn’t an easy task. The first time Jaime looked up at her though… it felt different. He caught her eye and he smiled widely. Brienne smiled back and felt her heart flutter. Jaime held eye contact until Podrick accidentally bumped into him and broke the spell. Could it really be true? Her stomach filled with butterflies at the thought. She wanted it to be true, so badly… and if it was true, what then? Could she really just admit how she felt and hope he would tell her too? Or was there a way she might be able to get him to admit it first, like Sansa suggested. 

Brienne pondered it for a while and finally came up with a plan. Later that evening when they returned to her room to prepare for bed she fought through the knots in her stomach and spoke, “Ser Jaime… we need to talk.” 

He raised his eyebrows and looked at her. “Did I do something wrong?” 

“No… no,” Brienne reassured him. She’d been planning what to say all day long, but it was completely different now that the moment had arrived. She was completely tongue tied and everything she’d come up with to say was completely gone. “Fuck,” she hissed, feeling tears spring to her eyes. “I can’t do this,’ Brienne muttered, turning away from him. 

She could feel the air around her change as Jaime approached. She knew he was there without looking because she could literally feel his presence. It was no surprise when his hand touched her arm. “Can’t do what?” he asked gently as he attempted to get her to turn. “Bri? What’s wrong? You’re scaring me…” 

Well that was absolutely the last thing she wanted - to scare him. But she was absolutely terrified herself and it was making her act like a nut case. Finally Brienne turned around. “I have questions,” she whispered. Brienne blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek. She really wasn’t one to show emotion that way, she usually had far more self control. Jaime reached out and cupped her face with his left hand and moved the tear away with his thumb. It was such a tender and sweet gesture it made her cry even harder. 

He was looking at her with such confusion and pain in his eyes. It clearly bothered him to see her so upset. That realization in itself took her breath away. He was still touching her cheek and she knew she needed to say something. “Why Jaime?” It wasn’t too often she didn’t address him formally with the Ser in front, but it just seemed right to be more intimate in this moment. 

“Why what?” He still looked confused and was searching her eyes for answers. 

Brienne wasn’t even sure where she wanted to start, so she went with the first thing that popped into her jumbled head. “Why did you tell me I’m beautiful?” 

“Because you are,” he said simply, brushing her cheek again with his thumb. 

“No but why? Why did you have to say it to me? Why did you tell me?” He still looked confused. Everything swirling around in her mind started flying out of her mouth. “Why did you say whoever takes my virginity is a lucky man? Why did you spar with Tormund? Why are you having so much fun tormenting him? Why did you look so smug when the Hound made that comment insinuating you had feelings for me? Why were you teasing me about how you remembered what I looked like naked?” She hadn’t taken a breath yet and finally she had to stop and get some air. 

Once her lungs were full of oxygen again she noticed Jaime was smiling at her. He slowly traced a finger along her jawline and it sent chills through her entire body, good chills - chills of excitement. “Isn’t it obvious?” he asked. 

“Wh… what?” she stammered. He was looking at her lips and then gently drew his thumb along her bottom lip. “What… what are you doing?” Brienne could barely breath again, and it wasn’t from talking too much this time. Jaime moved closer to her and she was sure she was going to pass out and fall on the floor. “What are you doing?” she asked again, her voice wasn’t even a whisper, barely audible. 

“I think I’m gonna kiss you,” he said. “If you say it’s okay…” His lips were hovering so close. So close she could feel the warmth of his breathing. All she had to do was say yes but she couldn’t even speak at that point. She made some sort of embarrassing whimper noise that she hoped would suffice as an agreement. 

Jaime chuckled and stroked her cheek, then he lightly nudged her nose with his. Brienne gasped at the tiny bit of intimate contact and as she did he swallowed it up by pressing his lips to hers. Brienne froze… it was really happening. She wasn’t dreaming. Jaime was kissing her… and she wasn’t reacting at all. 

She pulled away and stared at him. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I don’t.. Know…” 

“Shhh,” Jaime touched a finger to her lip. “Just relax and trust me, okay?” Brienne nodded slowly. He slipped an arm around her waist and drew her close again. This time when his lips touched hers Brienne let her body relax and enjoyed how good it felt. He pressed into her and pulled away a few times and then she felt his tongue brush her lips. Curiously she opened her mouth and the next thing she knew his tongue was inside, touching her own. Brienne tried not to overthink and just focus on how amazing it felt and how her own body was reacting. She worried she was completely messing it up for him because she didn’t really know what to do but he clearly didn’t mind and she allowed herself to do as he said and trust him. 

Those feelings she’d felt in the tub, swirling around low in her belly, had returned. Her legs felt weak but her heart was definitely strong with the way it was pounding in her chest. Brienne moved her arms around to his back and hugged him as he continued to kiss her. The whole thing was completely mesmerizing and she was loving every second. 

All good things must come to an end eventually and her body felt instantly cold when he finally released her. But the smile on his face warmed her up just as quickly. “Well Lady Brienne? Does that answer your question?”


	10. Chapter 10

“Jaime…” she whispered. She didn’t have any reason to say his name, other than because she liked how it sounded. The way he was looking at her would have been terrifying not that long ago, but after talking to Sansa and what had just occurred it had an entirely different result - it made her heart swell even bigger in her chest. It was because she finally believed it was possible for Jaime to have feelings for her. She’d taken Sansa’s advice and allowed herself to see it and she’d also believed her own intuition that told her to trust Jaime. 

“Do you have any idea how long you’ve had my heart?” He asked. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but it’s been a very long time. It wasn’t until recently - when I saw you in King’s Landing, that I finally realized just how long I’ve loved you.” His words sunk in slowly. At first it didn’t make any sense, but the more she thought about it Brienne realized that it was the same for her. She’d been in love with him for far longer than she’d even know - she likely loved him when she’d thought she loathed him. 

Jaime was continuously touching some part of her, like he just couldn’t completely end contact. Whether it was a graze of her cheek, a brush of her hand or moving stray strands of hair out of her eyes he just kept touching her as they talked. It was something she’d never really been that comfortable with, but it didn’t make her flinch or put her on guard at all when Jaime touched her. 

“Do you know why? I mean…” Brienne thought for a moment to get the right words. “What made you… realize you had feelings for me? What made you have those feelings to begin with?” She thought it might make it easier to wrap her brain around all of this with even more information. She knew she was way too analytical at times, but it’s just how her brain worked and what made her a good fighter. It was the only way she knew how to be. 

“I do,” Jaime replied with a nod. He had her hand now and was gently touching her fingers in a very sensual way. It was distracting, but it felt too intimate and tender to pull her hand away. “I see in you everything that I’ve always wanted to be,” he said, his voice low and soft. “You’re brave, loyal, honorable, strong and absolutely uncompromising in your beliefs. Bri,” he said, sighing passionately. “You’re everything good. You’re everything I’ve strived for, but fucked up my whole life.” 

She could see his eyes glistening with emotion. “You fought for things I’ve just been handed all along. You could have stayed with your family in Tarth, been betrothed to some noble and carried on the family legacy… but you knew that wasn’t what you wanted in life and that’s why so many years later you’re here instead.” It surprised Brienne how well he knew her, but it was also flattering. “I just did what was easy and comfortable… even when I knew in my heart it was wrong. I wasn’t brave or noble. I was a coward. But you make me want to be a man that others are proud of… a man that you’re proud of… a man of honour.” 

Brienne was at a loss for words. It wasn’t as if she was much of a talker to begin with, but normally even in her silence her mind was very prepared with the necessary words. Jaime had thrown her completely off guard and if this was a sparring match he could easily make the kill shot. So he did… “Why do you think I came here?” 

“Because you wanted to make sure the news got to Jon and Daenerys and you needed to show up in person so you would be taken seriously,” Brienne repeated what she knew to be true. 

Jaime nodded, “But I could have sent a raven to my brother. Tyrion and I have always looked out for each other, despite ending up on different sides. He would have arranged safe passage for me.” Brienne hadn’t considered that, but it made perfect sense. Tyrion would have listened to Jaime and trusted him the same way she did. So why come to Winterfell instead of going right to Tyrion where he would also find Dany and Jon? “I came here for you Brienne,” he whispered, stepping closer to her once again. “I tried hard to fight my feelings for you, but seeing you and your passion and devotion… it got to me. Then Cersei’s betrayal… I just knew it was time for me to be where I’m supposed to be… and I think I know where that is now…” Brienne held her breath as he leaned in and brushed his cheek lightly against hers, then whispered in her ear, “It’s with you. You’re where I’m supposed to be.” 

Jaime dipped his head and kissed her neck. Brienne moaned and her body felt weak once again. She’d barely spoken a word, but Jaime didn’t seem to mind. He clearly had a lot he’d wanted to get out now that he’d been given the chance. But he seemed to be through talking for the time being and was instead threatening to drop her to her knees with his sensual kisses on her neck and jaw line. 

Before it happened she had to stop him, just to be sure she had the chance to tell him one thing. “Jaime… Jaime…” she said, grabbing his face with her hands so she could see his beautiful eyes. “I love you,” Brienne whispered. Those were three words she was sure she would never say to any man, let alone him. It felt like she was outside her body, watching herself say something so foreign. Something she didn’t even know for sure what it actually meant until very recently. But she knew how it felt to love someone and she knew what it meant to be in love - because it was the only thing that could explain all the feelings and emotions she had for Jaime. 

“Will you say it again?” he asked, staring at her intently. “Please?” 

“I love you Jaime Lannister,” Brienne said, smiling at him. There hadn’t been much occasion to smile lately and it felt good to just let her face express what was coming right from her heart. 

“I love you too,” he replied before attacking her lips. Brienne realized that kissing was much easier if you didn’t think too much and just feel it. Strangely it was as if her body knew what to do without her telling it how to respond. Jaime’s fingers were tangled in her short hair, pulling her closer and she let her body relax so she could melt into him. Then she felt his hand move to her ass and her body started to vibrate with sexual tension. Things were getting really intense and Brienne was fighting off the terror that was creeping in. Kissing was one thing, but they were getting to the point where it was about to go beyond that. It wasn’t that she didn’t want it, she did, but it was still scary. 

 

With one final long deep kiss Jaime pulled away. “We… uh… we should maybe get some sleep…” he got out, trying to catch his breath. Brienne was confused and relieved and disappointed all at the same time. It must have been evident on her face. “Hey, shhh,” he said, touching her cheek. “We have time… tonight was a huge step for you… for both of us,” he corrected himself. “I would take you to bed right now, believe me,” Jaime moaned. “I want to Bri, so bad… but I also want you to experience everything that comes with falling in love… I want to experience it too…” It was then that Brienne realized that this really was a first for him too. He’d loved Cersei his whole life, it started from when they were kids and just changed. What they were feeling for each other was real, traditional, and different than he’d ever known. “We don’t have to wait long,” he added with a grin. “But how about we sleep on it - at least for tonight.” 

Brienne nodded. They really did have a lot to think about, so many feelings and emotions to let marinate. He was right - they had time. “Thank you,” she said softly, making sure he knew that she agreed completely with his decision and supported it. 

They both stripped down to their bed clothes and then Jaime reached for the shackles she had been putting on him to sleep. It was so noble of him to do it so freely without her even having to ask. He knew it was something that needed to be done and he was just happy to be with her and not sleeping in a cell. 

But with everything that had just happened between them she couldn’t possibly bring herself to lock him up. It just didn’t feel right. Brienne shook her head. “Not tonight.” She held out her hand to him and Jaime took it. “Tonight I’m trusting you completely,” she said as she led him to her bed. They climbed in and for the first time in her life Brienne laid with a man and let him hold her while she slept.


	11. Chapter 11

When Brienne opened her eyes the next morning she saw Jaime staring at her. His face broke into a smile when he noticed she was awake. She blushed and ducked her head under the covers. “Don’t,” he said, tugging at the blanket. “You’re so beautiful when you sleep. So innocent and childlike.” Brienne peeked her eyes out and looked at him while he spoke. “You’re even cute when you snore too,” he teased. 

Brienne gasped, “I do not snore.” She honestly had no idea if she snored or not, but assumed she would know if she did. 

Jaime grinned wider, “Not really. I’m just teasing. You breathe heavy once in awhile, but if you actually snore like a wild boar I haven’t heard it.” 

“Thank you for not running away or committing murder while I wasn’t keeping an eye on you,” she said, propping up on an elbow. 

“How do you know for sure I didn’t leave?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Brienne shrugged, “I don’t. But I trust you and I know you would never betray my trust.” She laid that card on the table - it was the absolute truth. 

“That’s a fair statement,” he replied, propping up on an elbow himself, mirroring her pose. She noticed he’d taken off his golden hand during the night and he must have seen her eying it. Jaime held up his arm. “Some days it still feels like it’s there,” he said. “I go to reach for something and realize I can’t pick it up.” He looked a bit sad. “Does it bother you? I can put it back on…” 

“No,” Brienne replied quickly, shaking her head. “Not one little bit.” She knew what it was like to be pitied and she would never make someone else feel that way. “Whatever is comfortable for you is all that matters to me.” She reached out with her free hand and took hold of his stump to prove she was neither afraid or disgusted. “This is who you are and I love you Jaime - two hands, one hand, no hands… doesn’t matter.” He leaned in and gave her a warm kiss. It didn’t seem to matter how long or short the kiss was, the tingles she felt inside were still the same. 

The looked at each other a little longer. Brienne had no idea it was possible to just stare at a person and have them stare back without things getting awkward very quickly. Yet she felt like she could look at Jaime for hours and be completely content. Eventually though, they needed to get out of bed and start their day. “If we don’t make an appearance soon Podrick will be banging down that door,” she said with a sigh. “I swear that boy would dress me in the morning if I would let him.” Pod took his duties seriously and she tried to give him work to make him feel useful whenever she could, but some days his hovering was just irritating. 

Reluctantly they climbed out of the warm bed and got ready to face the day. Brienne noticed it was snowing outside and shivered. It was going to be a long chilly day outside so they would definitely need a hot bowl of oats to get them started. 

The day went surprisingly quickly and by nightfall and suppertime they were all exhausted. Everyone seemed to be a bit on edge… everyone but Jaime who seemed quite chipper. Brienne felt the same way inside, but she was a lot better at hiding it - or so she thought. 

The Hound and Tormund got into a huge argument at supper about something stupid carried over from the day. Eventually Clegane stomped off with a loud ‘fuck you’ to the ginger. Brienne knew they would be back to buds by the next day. They had some weird sibling type of love hate relationship with lots of ribbing, but the mutual respect was always there. 

Jaime got up to take their dishes back and Brienne watched him walk towards the front of the room. Suddenly she realized something bad was about to happen, but it was like everything was happening in slow motion and she couldn’t spit out a warning in time. The man who had words with Jaime a couple days ago stuck out a foot as Jaime walked by, sending him sprawling and the dishes flying. 

Brienne started to make her way towards the commotion, but by that point everyone was up, moving in to watch the show. She had to push her way through the crowd but before she could get there Jaime was already on his feet ready to fight. It was a lost cause though because he was completely surrounded. “Get back you fucking dimwits,” Brienne yelled as she got close. 

But her words fell on deaf ears. The room got loud with yelling and the brawl began. Determined to get to Jaime she fought her way through the crowd, but it was taking too long. “Leave him be,” she cried out, watching someone land a punch to Jaime’s gut. He doubled over and dropped to the ground. Brienne was panicking as she continued to scramble through the crowd. 

Just as someone was about to land a kick she saw a hand close around his neck and then the man went flying. “Who’s next?” roared Tormund. “You assholes want to kick a man when he’s down… you gotta get through me first.” Shocked Brienne froze and watched as a couple of guys made a pathetic attempt to get by Tormund and ended up landing on the ground with a thud. 

A group of 5 men looked like they were about to give it a go when a strong female voice rang out through the dining hall. “Enough. All of you. Take your seats… immediately.” 

There were murmurs everywhere of ‘yes m’lady’ as the room settled instantly. Brienne watched Tormund help Jaime to his feet and the two men exchanged a look of respect as Jaime quickly expressed his gratitude. They all made their way back to their table to await an address from Lady Sansa. 

When the room was quiet she spoke. “If I see anything like that again there will be serious consequences,” she began. “Ser Jaime is a guest here in Winterfell and you will all treat him with respect and welcome him warmly from now on.” Brienne put a hand on Jaime’s knee under the table and he immediately put his hand on top of hers. “He took great risk to come here and deliver news for the King in the North and Queen Daenerys.” Brienne felt her heart swell with pride. “I trust you will all show Ser Jaime that we Northerners know how to treat our guests.” Sansa’s voice was clear and strong. There wasn’t a person in the room who showed any sign of defiance towards Lady Sansa. 

Once everyone was dismissed the room cleared quickly, leaving only her, Jaime, Tormund and Podrick. “Thank you Tormund,” Brienne said genuinely. “But I…” She looked at him, feeling all sorts of confused. 

“Ay,” he nodded. “I know when I’ve lost a fight,” Tormund said, looking from her to Jaime. “It seems I lost this one before it even begun,” he sighed. He reached out and took Brienne’s hand and she resisted the urge to pull it away. Tormund lifted it to his lips and kissed the top. “You’re a rare woman Lady Brienne and he’s a lucky son of a bitch.” He released her hand and looked at Jaime. “You hurt her and I’ll kill you.” Brienne fought off her usual comment about how she could look after herself and gave Tormund his moment of male pride. Jaime nodded formally, but didn’t speak. “Now go,” he said, with a wave of his hand and a chuckle. “Take your woman to bed.” With that he wandered off, leaving just the three of them. 

Podrick had pink cheeks. “Well, um, I’ll just be heading to my room now,” he muttered, backing away and then trotting for the door. 

“What a strange fucking night,” Brienne mumbled, still wondering if she was actually awake or in a dream. 

Jaime reached out a hand to her, “I think I might know a way to make it better.” Brienne took his hand and let him lead her through the halls and up to her room. By the time they got inside and locked the door she was flushed and almost breathless. It had nothing to do with long walk or the stairs. She didn’t know what kind of plans Jaime had, but her mind was filled with guesses that had started that simmering feeling low in her belly. 

“Are you okay? Where they hit you?” Brienne asked, deflecting a bit to give her nerves a break. 

“I’m fine,” Jaime assured her. His gaze was smouldering and she couldn’t mistake the desire in his eyes. Even as a woman who had never seen that look before - she knew exactly what it was - lust. It was exciting and terrifying, exhilarating and paralyzing all at once. He took a step towards her, getting into her personal space where she could distinctly feel his presence. Brienne held her breath waiting for what was to come. She hoped it would happen quickly so she didn’t pass out from lack of oxygen. Finally he spoke. His tone was gentle, but commanding at the same time. The sultry way he spoke made her want to obey him whether she was petrified or not. “Bri… take off your clothes.” With a nod Brienne started to remove her armour.


	12. Chapter 12

With the armour gone Brienne started to remove her under clothing. The way Jaime was looking at her was incredible. He somehow made her feel something she’d never felt in her entire life - beautiful. She didn’t feel the least bit nervous, even as she exposed her breasts and removed the last of her clothing, leaving her completely nude. 

Without speaking Jaime moved closer. He grazed her body with his finger tips as he circled around behind her. Brienne closed her eyes and focussed on the feel of his touch and his strong presence. Her body should have felt cold, exposed like that in the chilly room, but she didn’t feel the cool air at all, all she felt was the warmth of him touching her and the energy between them. 

She felt his hand, splayed out across her lower belly… low enough to make her start to throb between her legs, but high enough he wasn’t actually touching her anywhere erotic. Jaime pulled her back against his body. She could feel his clothing against her and Brienne wished he was naked too so she could feel his skin on hers. He grazed her bare shoulder with his chin and spoke in her ear, “You’re breathtaking.” His words, their pure honesty, the raw desire in his voice… it stung her eyes with tears. She didn’t know how much she wanted to feel the way she was feeling until that moment. To have someone love her so much he believed she was beautiful… it was everything. The most amazing part was that she actually believed him. Brienne knew this wasn’t a cruel joke, there was no trick coming… it was just real - completely real. 

Jaime kissed her neck and Brienne heard a noise come from somewhere inside her that she couldn’t control. It was a whimper, normally a sign of weakness that she would have loathed, but this was a kind of weakness she was perfectly fine with. As he kissed her and sucked lightly on her skin Jaime moved his left hand slowly up her stomach until he was cupping her breast. Brienne felt her body tremble, so strongly he must have felt it too. “Shh, it’s okay,” he said soothingly into her ear. “I’ll never hurt you.” 

Again, she knew it was true. It was so fulfilling to trust someone the way she trusted Jaime. She didn’t need to be on guard with him. She knew anything he said to her was the absolute truth. It made everything that was happening so much easier because if she got too much into her head she would have to admit she was terrified. There were so many years of insecurities and cruel comments locked up in there, yet somehow Jaime was able to keep her in the present and didn’t allow her to open up all those old wounds. 

He kissed her shoulder and moved his hand back down again, but this time he didn’t stop at her belly he moved lower until his fingertips were in her curls… and then finally… between her legs. “Fuck,” he groaned, tickling her ear with his warm breath. “You’re so wet…” If she didn’t already know that was a good thing the pure lust in his voice would have quickly convinced her it was. 

His fingers lightly brushed the same area she’d been touching in the tub and somehow it felt even better. She squeezed her eyes even tighter and leaned back against him with a sigh. Jaime touched her a little longer and then drew his hand slowly away. “Go lay in bed,” he said, releasing her gently, almost as if he was reluctant to let go of her body. Brienne nodded and took a step away from him. The cold air hit her instantly and she almost gasped out loud. She walked quicker, needing the warmth of the blankets, and slipped into bed. She lay on her back and watched him start to undress. Brienne had no idea what he planned to do next, but if she were to guess she suspected she was about to lose her virginity. It should have been a thought that terrified her, but being scared of Jaime in any way just seemed too absurd. He removed his shirt and she looked at his beautiful chest and abdomen. She couldn’t wait to touch his body, the way he’d touched hers. 

His pants were sitting low on his hips and Brienne could see there was a big bulge in the groin area. It was the realization that she’d never seen an aroused penis that finally made her blush, even before she actually saw it. She waited, watching with anticipation for Jaime to finally take off the pants, but it didn’t happen, he’d take off everything but, including his golden hand. He left the pants on and approached the bed slowly. He lifted the blanket back to reveal her body and looked her over again with a smile toying on his lips. 

Without speaking he climbed in with her and crouched between her legs. Brienne was confused because she was sure she knew what was coming next, yet things weren’t playing out like she’d expected. Figuring out her opponent’s next move and staying one step ahead was what made her such a great fighter, but in this case she was completely lost and thrown off her game, reminding her that this was not her area of expertise and she needed to just continue to trust him. 

He leaned down and started kissing her all over, beginning with her face and lips, then working down to her breasts where he stopped to take a nipple in his mouth and suck lightly. “Oh,” Brienne gasped, arching her back towards him. All this time she thought breasts were really just for feeding babies, babies she never planned on having. She had no idea they could be such a source of pleasure, leaving her writhing with desire and gasping for air beneath him. 

When she wasn’t sure she could possibly take any more Jaime gave her some relief by moving on and kissing her ribs and belly. When he kept moving lower Brienne couldn’t help stiffening with panic. He was going to kiss her there? Between her legs? “Jaime?” she said, touching his head to stop him. “Wha… what are you doing?” 

He popped up and grinned at her. “You’ll love it… I promise…” Brienne looked at him, wide eyed and then slowly nodded. What was she agreeing to? She wondered. But his promise was enough for her. “Hey,” he continued, looking deeply into her eyes with such sincerity. “If you want me to stop, now… or at any time… you just have to tell me. I’ll never do anything you don’t want.” There were so many men out there who would just take what they wanted, whenever they wanted it and here he was - giving her complete control… It made her want to cry again. If anyone couldn’t see what an amazing, honourable man he truly was… they were crazy. 

“I don’t want you to stop,” she whispered, laying back once again. As Jaime moved back into position she fought off the nerves. This was a lot for her and both her mind and body knew it… but they also craved more and that far outweighed everything else. 

What happened next was unlike anything she could have imagined. It was like every new and exciting feeling she’d had multiplied times a billion. She didn’t know what he was doing down there, but she knew it was heaven. He was licking, sucking, nibbling parts of her body that had never been touched and causing explosive feeling that she couldn’t describe because there was nothing she’d ever experienced that was close enough to compare them to. 

She started to feel that build up of energy inside her, like she had in the bath, and she didn’t know whether to cry or scream. It meant two things - she was about to experience the most amazing feeling in the world, and it would all be over soon. One of those things was bliss and the other was too horrible to even think about. Brienne wanted what she was feeling to last forever. 

Jaime continued to work his magic and the feelings intensified. With one final suck he shoved her over the edge and Brienne felt her body jolt and shudder. That’s when the complete out of body experience began. It felt like her world shattered and exploded but in a wave of pure ecstasy. There was too much going on to grasp everything that was happening to her body, but she felt hot, yet comfortable, and there were bright flashes of light bursting out of the darkness. Then things started to slow… and calm… until she felt such an utter sense of relaxation that it made her want to sleep peacefully for hours. 

Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up at Jaime. “Thank you,” she said sleepily. 

“You don’t ever have to thank me,” he said, stroking her cheek. “I enjoyed it too.” Jamie layed down beside her and pulled the covers over them. He found her hand under the blanket. “You can sleep now Bri,” he said, nuzzling her arm with his cheek. 

Brienne was surprised. Did he not want to be with her after all? Instead of retreating into doubts she forced herself to ask. “Do… you, um… do you not want me?” 

Jaime sat up instantly and looked at her, “Are you kidding me? My cock is about to rip out the seam of these pants.” Jaime laughed when her cheeks flushed. “I just thought maybe… you wanted to take it slow…” 

Brienne shook her head. “No,” she replied. “I’ve taken it slow my whole life… I don’t want to wait any longer.” 

“You’re sure?” he asked, running a hand up the outside of her thigh. Brienne was shocked at how her body reacted to that touch. All that sleepiness was gone in an instant. 

“Oh I’m sure,” she replied confidently. Brienne knew exactly what she wanted - every part of him. She wanted to know what it felt like to be one with another person - not just any person, him. Deep inside every little girl wants a knight in shining armour to be her hero and Jaime Lannister, Ser Jaime - was the Knight she’d been waiting for all her life.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I weighed this decision over and over in my head. I had initially intended on doing the entire story from Brienne’s POV, but as I was planning in my mind how I wanted this one to go I decided to switch to Jaime’s POV for this chapter. I hope people aren’t too frustrated by this decision. I wanted to breathe new life into the fic because I know this is a pivotal moment for the characters and this was the best way I could think of to do that. Feel free to tell me if you think it was a terrible idea or a good choice so I’ll know for the future which way to go. Hope everyone has a great weekend. Happy Friday!

Jaime felt intoxicated, like he was drunk-happy on fine wine. All of his senses were taking in every detail of the moment, from the feel of her soft, smooth skin, the lusty smell in the room, to the sight of Brienne’s beautiful body, the sound of her voice - full of sincerity, and the taste of her still lingering on his tongue. 

How could he possibly have imagined that everything he did wrong in his life and those few things he’d done right would lead him to this place? He’d worked hard lately to be the man who deserved to be there - with her. Brienne was a special woman and she brought out the very best in him, but she also made him want to work harder because he never wanted to disappoint her. That wasn’t new for him, working hard to avoid disappointing a woman, but in this case the actions were very different. Not disappointing Cersei and not disappointing Brienne were worlds apart. One was all about being a good person, fiercely loyal and honorable. The other also included loyalty, but it was about being on top, being in charge, having control - at any cost. 

Jaime looked down at her and every part of his body ached with desire. He was experiencing feelings that were new and exciting, even in situations he thought he understood. It took him a while to realize that this wasn’t just a first for Brienne, it was also a first for him too. Yes, the sex part he’d done before while she had not, but Jaime had fallen in love, truly in love, for the first time in his life. He thought he’d loved Cersei, and he had… but this was different. His sister may have been his lover but she was still his sister first and foremost. He loved her because he was supposed to. He had sex with her because he somehow believed that the love he felt for her was romantic. It became easy and comfortable… it was all he needed, or so he thought… 

Then, like a lightning bolt from the sky, somehow Brienne was thrown into his life. She wasn’t conventionally attractive. She was rough around the edges perhaps and didn’t seem to fall for his charm like most women did. Jaime had no idea when she fell in love with him, or why… but it didn’t matter, all that mattered was she did. He was pretty sure it was almost instant for him, though he couldn’t be sure or pinpoint an exact moment because he didn’t realize how he truly felt until recently. All he knew was that whenever he was around her he wanted to do the right thing. Whether it was keeping her from being raped, saving her from a bear, sending her off to find and protect Sansa Stark or convincing his sister to honour her word and help Jon Snow and Queen Daenerys… Brienne was always on his mind, pushing him to do what was right. 

The last push had landed him on a horse riding away from King’s Landing, north to find her and warn the others of Cersei’s betrayal. That might not have worked out exactly as planned, but he was with Brienne in her bed and somehow nothing else mattered, at least for a little while. 

Brienne was looking at him and Jaime was mesmerized. The way he felt for her was literally paralyzing sometimes. It was as if he was terrified to move because it all might go away. He worried he would wake back in Cersei’s bed in King’s Landing and everything good was nothing more than an amazing dream. When he touched her though, when she touched him… Jaime knew it was real. 

He stroked the outside of her thigh a few more times, slowly, and Brienne closed her eyes. Her mouth was slightly open and he could tell how much she enjoyed his touch. Jaime couldn’t help but wonder if it was specifically his touch or just being touched that made her look that way, but it didn’t matter - he was the one that was with her and he was the one she wanted with her. She could have had the ginger if all she wanted was sex. Nah, he decided, it didn’t make him a narcissist to believe he was truly what was turning her on. 

Jaime was a bit surprised when the nerves hit him as he slipped out of bed to take off his pants. He’d been playing it so cool up to that point, but she’d been the one who was fully exposed. Now it was his turn. He knew he had a decent body and he also knew that chances were Brienne hadn’t really seen too many naked men to compare him to, but that didn’t change the insecurities he was feeling. He reminded himself that she’d seen him naked before and he’d been completely confident that time. This was different though. He was fully aroused and she was ready to be with him. It wasn’t just him being a cocky jerk interrupting her bath. 

Her eyes were on him as he untied his pants and let them fall away. Jaime saw her struggle with whether or not to be bold and fully check him out. That made him smile. Her innocence was so beautiful and inspiring. It actually made him a bit jealous because this would be her first time. Why couldn’t his first time have been with her too? He convinced himself it was better this way, better for at least one of them to have some experience, but the romantic notion of their first time being together was still in the back of his mind. 

Jaime lifted the blanket back to expose her long, lean body. The pull inside him, seeing her naked, was strong and intense. It was more than just lust though because he loved her so deeply. He was pretty sure he loved her more every second they spent together. 

He watched as Brienne slowly reached out a hand and touched his abdomen. Her hand shook slightly, but not nearly as badly as his body trembled with her touch. She lightly grazed his belly with her fingertips and Jaime felt the fires stirring inside him intensify. He watched as she shyly started to let her hand move lower. It delighted him that she clearly wanted to touch his cock. Whether it was curiosity or a desire to pleasure him, Jaime wasn't sure, but the second the back of her hand grazed his dick as she moved lower on his stomach almost dropped him to his knees. 

“May I?” Brienne asked, pausing to look up at him. There she was again with those beautiful, innocent eyes, full of wonder. It was sweet, and almost amusing, that she was asking permission to do exactly what he wanted to happen so badly. Jaime nodded and braced himself for her touch. Not because he was worried she would hurt him in any way, but because he knew it was gonna be difficult to keep himself from completely unravelling when she took his cock in her hand. 

He sucked in a breath as she wrapped a hand around his girth. His dick started to throb instantly and she let go, looking up at him once more, as if she'd done something wrong. 

“It felt good,” he assured her, with a half smile. Slowly she grasped him again and explored a bit more. It was insane how this woman, who had no damn idea what she was doing, could make him feel like he was going to explode with her tentative touch. Jaime let her play with him a bit longer before he ended it with a kiss. 

He honestly had no idea how long he was going to last with the way she was making him feel and he wanted to be sure he made her first time memorable… in a good way. As they were kissing he started to climb into bed, moving between her legs. 

Jaime broke the kiss and looked down at her. “You okay?” he asked. Brienne nodded. “Are you ready?” He felt the need to check with her one final time just to be sure. 

“Jaime,” she whispered. When she said his name it sent tingles through his body. “I'm ready, I want this,” she said. Her voice was pure and confident. 

He took a deep breath once again and touched her hips. He felt her stiffen slightly. “Relax,” he soothed her. Jaime grabbed her thigh with his left hand and pulled her just a bit closer, lining up their bodies. It was the last chance to back out, though he prayed she didn't change her mind because it would be so hard to stop from pushing into her sweet warmth. He penetrated her with the tip of his cock and Brienne gasped. It wasn't pain or fear, but wonder and amazement. 

When he started to push further into her Jaime shared in the wonder and amazement. She was so tight, wet and slick, but really tight. He really wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't what he was feeling that was for sure. He moved in slowly, for both of their benefits. The way her body wrapped around his cock was unbelievable and he never wanted it to end. It felt like a hand gripping him with a tight fist, squeezing and making him throb. 

He was so preoccupied with his own pleasure Jaime forgot for a moment to make sure Brienne was ok. Thankfully when he looked at her he knew she was more than fine. The bliss on her face threatened to undo him completely. Just knowing he was causing her to feel that way was so erotic. 

When he was finally all the way inside her Jaime just stayed there to enjoy it for a second. He bent his head and found her nipple. He took it in his mouth and lightly sucked until she moaned. It was the sexiest sound he’d ever heard. When she arched her back it pressed her groin harder on him and Jaime couldn't take it any longer. He needed to fuck her like he’d never needed anything before. 

Somehow he found the restraint to start slow, just to be sure Brienne was okay. He pulled out and moved back into her once, watching her face the whole time. Her eyes were closed but there was a tiny smile on her lips. Looking at her, so blissful and content, he wondered how anyone could possibly miss out on her beauty. It didn't matter though, it was their loss and his gain. He liked the idea of thinking of Brienne as “his” even though she probably wouldn't have been too keen on being anyone’s possession - yet another thing he loved about her, her strength and independence. 

Jaime tested the waters, moving a bit quicker and Brienne responded with a little whimper. She was gonna kill him, destroy him with those little noises she was making. He moved deep inside her and Brienne sighed. Jaime felt his balls start to tighten and he stopped moving. How was it possible he was on the verge of coming already? 

He focused on her body, taking his attention away from his cock for a moment. He kissed her neck and along her jaw line, finally ending up at her lips. Jaime kissed her deeply, slipping his tongue into her mouth. She was already getting more comfortable with kissing, though she still let him lead, but he was fine with that. 

When he’d taken a long enough break Jaime started to fuck her slowly again as he continued to kiss her. He could feel her hands on his back, pulling him closer, and her hips raise up to take him as deep as possible. He kept the slow pace for a while, though by that point his grasp of how much time had passed was completely gone. 

He felt Brienne’s body start to tense below him and Jaime almost stopped moving when he realized she was going to come. He wanted to just stay still and watch but if he didn't keep fucking her it might not happen. So he kept moving and watched in amazement as she orgasmed right there with his dick deep inside her. That had never happened with Cersei, he always got her off first or after but never during. 

Suddenly he felt her tighten and contract on him and Jaime was so fucking done. He pushed deep into her and exploded. The orgasm was so intense it completely took his breath away. He never even thought about the fact he likely should have pulled out to not risk knocking her up, but it was too late. 

As the pleasure started to slowly fade away Jaime felt weak. He dipped his head and laid it on her chest, pulling out and moving off to the side. He could feel her chest moving up and down as she breathed and Jaime closed his eyes. He wanted to make sure she was okay with everything but when Brienne started playing with his hair he just couldn't stay awake. He turned his head and kissed her in the middle of her tummy. “I love you Bri,” he got out. Then Jaime reached for one of her hands and linked their fingers. 

“I love you too,” were the last words he heard before he drifted off into the most satisfying sleep he’d had in years.


	14. Chapter 14

It took Brienne a long time to fall asleep that night because she just wanted to relive it over and over in her mind. Jaime slept on her chest for quite a while before he rolled over, leaving her feeling instantly cold. She immediately missed the feel of his weight on her and stroking his soft hair. She pulled the blanket over them both, taking one more look at his naked form before she did. 

He was beautiful, there was no denying it. Brienne could still picture him in her mind, when he got out of bed and took off his pants. She’d been shy at first and tried not to look, but she couldn’t help her curiosity. His dick was hard and huge and she couldn’t help but wonder how it was going to fit in her without hurting like hell. Yet nothing about it had hurt at all. It was marvelous, pleasurable and an experience she would never forget. 

Brienne stretched out her body and sighed. She closed her eyes to relive their first time and it was like she could feel his mouth on her breasts, sucking her nipples and his cock back inside her, moving in and out, creating sensations inside and outside of her that she didn’t even know were possible. One time… one time and now she understood why people were so obsessed with sex. It was all she could do not to wake Jaime up and beg him to fuck her again. 

In all honesty though, she’d been relieved that he fell asleep right away and didn’t try to talk about what had happened. She needed some time to think about everything and sort out all of her emotions. The last thing she wanted was for him to take her attitude all wrong and think she wasn’t completely satisfied and happy about being with him. She tended to get reflective when something pivotal occurred and people often thought she was mad when it wasn’t true. By morning she would be ready to talk about it and better prepared to express herself properly. 

For the next hour or so she rode a rollercoaster of emotions, alone with her own thoughts while Jaime slept. There were moments she felt almost giddy, like she wanted to kick her feet and giggle like a child. Then there were moments of doubt where she let herself into the dark places in her brain and wondered when the ‘bad’ was going to pop up and bash her in the face. But thankfully she always ended up back in the same place - she was in love with Jaime and Jaime loved her right back. What happened between them wasn’t about anything but the true and honest feelings they had for each other. There was no ulterior motive, no cruel prank, nothing but love. 

It wasn’t until she’d wore herself out with the circus of thoughts that Brienne finally fell asleep. When she woke the next morning Jaime was watching her again. She loved waking up to that smile on his face and hoped it would keep happening for a long time. “Morning,” he said, kissing her bare shoulder. “I’m sorry I fell asleep like that last night…” Jaime started. “Are you o…” 

She knew it was coming and Brienne cut him off before he could finish. “Don’t do that,” she said. “Look at me… you know I’m fine Jaime,” she said with a smile. “But are you?” She turned the tables on him right away. It was something she’d come up with in all her mess of thoughts the night before. It was her first time, yes, but Jaime had only ever been with Cersei and being with her was like putting an end to the only thing he’d ever known for his whole life. 

Jaime grinned at her. “Never been better.” Brienne had to admit that he truly looked happy, happier than she’d ever seen him. There was a glow in his eyes that seemed like it was coming from deep inside him and it was so gorgeous. “I’m serious. I feel so light and free right now. You could throw me back in that cell or shackle me up and I would still feel like a free man. It’s because of you, ya know.” He nuzzled her arm with his forehead. “You’re my saviour.” 

Brienne chuckled, “That’s quite the title to bestow upon me.” 

“It’s so true though,” he continued eagerly. “You save people. It’s what you do. You saved me Bri,” he finished with a whisper. Brienne touched his hair, like she had the night before. It was calming for them both. Then she leaned over and kissed him. Up to that point it had been him initiating the kissing, but she felt confident and comfortable enough to do it herself this time. It felt different, more intense, because it was her starting things. The kissing got passionate very quickly and the next thing she knew he had a hand on her ass, pulling her closer. She kept kissing him and then all of a sudden he pulled back. “There’s something we need to talk about…” Jaime gasped. 

Brienne sat up a bit. If he asked if she was okay again she would consider clocking him. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s about last night,” he said, looking really awkward. She started to feel nervous and wished he would just get to the point. “I didn’t pull out,” Jaime said, looking a bit pink in the face. Brienne gave him a strange look, not understanding what he meant. He’d pulled out several times. “I came inside you…” he added in a hushed whisper. “You could.. You know… get pregnant.” 

Brienne gasped in surprise. In all her meandering around in her mind the night before that was one thought, or worry, that had never popped up. She didn’t know everything about the birds and the bees, but she did know how a woman could end up pregnant. How the hell did that not come to mind earlier? She was trying to remember when her last time of the month had happened… and when she’d heard was the best time for a woman to get pregnant… 

“There’s always moon tea…” Jaime added, looking extremely apologetic. 

Brienne shook her head quickly. That was one thing she could never do - she knew that for sure. She couldn't imagine having to ask Sansa to help her get some from the maester. She didn’t want to be pregnant or have a baby - not then. They had a war to fight. But if by some grace of the gods it happened and she was carrying Jaime’s child from the night before or what might happen in the future… she would never rid her body of such a gift. Maybe one day… when they saved the seven kingdoms from the Night King and his army… maybe one day when they could breathe without fear of death at every turn… maybe… Brienne shook her head again to stop herself from going down a path that it was way too soon to go down. She sucked in a long deep breath and somehow found herself being extremely rational. “Let’s not worry until we need to, okay?” She spoke calmly, even though she still felt anxiety on the inside. “And let’s be more careful next time.” 

Jaime was nodding as a smile slowly spread over his entire face. “Next time,” he repeated. 

Brienne felt her heart rate pick up. “Next time,” she said again. 

“When will that be?” he asked flirtatiously, as her slid his hand up her thigh. 

“Soon I think,” Brienne replied biting her lip and looking at him innocently. She darted a tongue out to wet her lips and Jaime pounced. This time the kissing didn’t stop until she’d spread her legs and he was buried inside her. It was everything she remembered from the night before and more. She felt more in tune with her body because she had an idea of what to expect, and that allowed her to really focus on the physical and emotional feelings Jaime was creating in her. 

It was crazy to her how the process was much the same, Jaime was on top moving in and out of her, yet it felt so very different just because the tempo had changed completely. Their first time had been very slow and gentle, but this time Jaime was fucking her much quicker and it was driving her so wild. It had taken so much longer to get to the same place she was right then - on the edge of pure bliss. The build was quicker and it somehow made the explosion even more spectacular. Brienne cried out, probably way too loudly, but right then she honestly didn’t give a fuck because it all felt too good. 

At some point while her eyes were closed and her body was floating around in ecstasy, Jaime pulled out. Brienne watched in fascination as he stroked his dick with his left hand, only a few times and then cum shot out landing in a warm puddle on her chest, then her tummy. But what was even more fascinating was the look on his face. She knew the exact feeling because it was the same thing she’d just experienced herself - utter bliss. 

Jaime slipped off her, climbed out of bed and then returned with a cloth to clean her up. Brienne watched him silently. It was all so new and intriguing to her how these things worked. She loved that Jaime never made her feel awkward or embarrassed about her curiosity and naïveté. 

Brienne could tell from the light peeking in around the curtains that they had already slept in longer than usual but when Jaime slipped back in bed with her and cuddled up close she couldn't bring herself to suggest they get up, not just yet. He had his arm around her and his chin tucked over her shoulder. Brienne let herself melt into his embrace and closed her eyes. But they flew open instantly with the sound of the door crashing against the wall. 

“Lady Brienne? Ser Jaime?” A voice panted. “Oh no… oh shit…” Brienne watched Podrick dance around like he'd just been poked in the eye with a fire stick. He had both hands over his eyes and turned his back to them. “I am so sorry…” he kept muttering over and over. 

Brienne turned and looked at Jaime and then gave him a hard elbow when she realized he was chuckling. “What the fuck Podrick?” She snapped, pulling the blanket up to their necks. 

“Oh no… oh… so sorry,” he continued to mumble. Brienne was too angry to speak. She was mad at Pod for busting in, Jaime for being so amused and herself for not sliding the lock on the fucking door. 

“Pod, what's going on?” Jaime asked calmly. “Why are you here?” If he burst in like that to tell us we are going to miss breakfast I’ll kill him, Brienne thought, eying her weapon across the room. 

“Lady Sansa sent me,” he panted, still dancing around like a fool. “She received a raven from King’s Landing this morning.” Jaime and Brienne exchanged a look. “She wants to see both of you in her chambers. Immediately.”


	15. Chapter 15

Sansa and Bran were both waiting when the three of them arrived, along with Tormund and the Hound. Thankfully Podrick had started acting almost normal again by that point, though she knew there were awkward times to come. “Lady Brienne, Ser Jaime,” Sansa addressed them formally with a nod to welcome them. Brienne noticed that Jaime stayed a long way from Bran and was clearly uncomfortable. She cursed in her mind as she’d hoped Jaime had let go of his guilt and need to confess his sins, but obviously he hadn’t. 

Sansa got right to the point, “I have received a raven from your sister Ser Jaime.” Brienne felt her stomach tighten and she watched Jaime’s reaction nervously. He seemed curious, but quite cold at the mention of Cersei. “She claims to know you’re here at Winterfell and has requested that I have someone escort you back to King’s Landing or she will be sending members of the Queensguard to collect you.” 

“Collect me?” Jaime asked in confusion. Brienne knew Cersei wasn’t going to just let Jaime run off without making an attempt to bring him home, he really shouldn’t have been so surprised. 

“You’ve been charged with treason and must return to stand trial,” Sansa explained. 

“Treason,” Brienne snapped. “That’s bullshit.” 

Jaime glanced over at her, “Well to be fair I probably did disobey a direct order or two from the queen.” He gave an apologetic shrug. “But there’s no way I’m going back there for any reason, including to stand trial.” 

“You can’t stay here,” Sansa warned. “If it’s true and she really is planning on sending the Queenguard to get you - that’s putting my people in danger.” 

“I understand,” Jaime nodded. “I’ll gather my things and be on my way m’lady.” Brienne was frozen with shock as he started to walk towards the door. 

“Wait,” Bran spoke up. “There’s another way.” Jaime turned and looked at the young man. Brienne could see the torture in his eyes and wished she could do something to help. “It’s not treason if she’s not your queen,” he said. The room was silent as his words sunk in and slowly several people, including herself started to smile as Bran’s plan became clear. “Ser Jaime… you must go north and wait for King Jon and Queen Daenerys. Jon has already bent a knee to the Dragon Queen - the north will follow her. You need to do the same. Bend a knee to Daenerys and she will protect you.” 

“Tormund, Podrick, Brienne and Clegane will accompany you,” Bran continued. 

Sansa was nodding in agreement. “You should go have something to eat and take the rest of the morning to gather your things. I’ll have your horses prepared and you will leave this afternoon.” Brienne looked around the room. There was a bit of a stunned silence at the strange turn of events, but everyone looked agreeable. 

“M’Lady…” Tormund spoke up. “We were summoned here but you’ve never told us what you wanted…” 

Sansa glanced over at Bran for clarification. “I saw this coming and I wanted you here to make sure Ser Jaime and Lady Brienne make it safely to Castle Black.” It seemed like he wanted to say more, but kept it to that. 

Sansa shrugged, “Well there you have it.” She seemed just as perplexed by Bran’s abilities as the three eyed raven as the rest of them. “Go ahead, get prepared for your journey and I’ll be there to see you off later on.” Tormund and the Hound left, followed by Podrick. 

“Lady Sansa… I swore to your mother I…” Brienne started. 

Sansa interrupted her. “Lady Brienne, you have more than upheld your oath to my mother. But if I must… I order you to accompany Ser Jaime to the wall. Keep him safe and make sure he survives out there.” Brienne didn’t argue, perhaps it was for selfish reasons since she would have been heartbroken to have to be apart from Jaime. She conceded with a nod and turned to go assuming Jaime would follow but he didn’t seem to be moving. 

“Before I go… there’s something I need you to know,” he said to Sansa. “It’s about Bran and when he fell…” Brienne held her breath. She wanted to grab Jaime and run. There was no way Sansa was going to just let him trot off to safety when she heard what he did. 

“You were here,” Bran interrupted. “You saw it happen and it still haunts you.” Jaime turned towards the young man and gaped, unsure of what to say. “Ser Jaime - Bran is gone, I am the three eyed raven now. Everything that happened to Bran… everything that happens to us all, the choices we make, right or wrong… have all lead us here - just like they’re supposed to.” Brienne was finally able to take a breath. Bran was releasing Jaime of his guilt, if only the fool would take it. “You need to forget the past and move to the future,” he continued, staring Jaime down intently. “Ser Jaime - you’re a very important part of the coming war - please, I beg you - stay safe.” 

Jaime stood there for a moment. He clearly had no idea what to say, so Brienne jumped in. “Come on, we need to get food before there’s nothing left,” she said, grabbing his arm and tugging gently. 

He nodded slowly. “Lady Sansa,” Jaime said with a bow. “Lord Br… uh… raven.. Uh… yeah…” he muttered awkwardly. Brienne tugged again and finally he followed her out the door. 

“What the fuck Jaime?” she hissed. “Sansa would have shipped you right back to Cersei if Bran hadn’t interrupted.” 

“I’m sorry Bri… I had to try,” he whispered. “I still don’t know what the fuck just happened in there though.” He rubbed his face and sighed. 

Brienne stopped him in the hallway and looked around. “Jaime… he just told you that it’s okay. Whatever you did in the past - it’s over. He feels like he’s right where he’s supposed to be and if you hadn’t pushed him he might never have fulfilled his destiny. You can let it go now. You can let it go,” she said again, taking his hand and looking him in the eye. “Let it go,” she whispered, one final time. 

Jaime smiled at her and kissed her cheek. Then they quickly headed off to break their fast. When they joined the others at the table Podrick instantly turned pink. “What’s wrong with you boy?” The Hound noticed right away. He eyed Brienne, then Jaime and suddenly started to grin. “You catch these two fucking this morning?” 

“No, no,” Podrick replied immediately. “Nothing like that… well not exactly like that…” 

“Shut the fuck up Pod,” Brienne warned. It was too late though. Clegane was belly laughing and Tormund, though he looked a bit annoyed, joined in before too long. Even Jaime was smiling. “I hate you all. The whole lot of you,” Brienne said, focusing on her bowl. 

“Was the Lannister cock too small or something?” The Hound snorted. “Usually women aren’t so grumpy after a good fuck.” 

“My cock is just fine,” Jaime protested, looking wounded and adorable. “Isn’t it Bri?” She rolled her eyes and looked away from his handsome face. 

Men suck. All men suck. They seriously suck. Those were the words going over and over in her mind as she tried to ignore them while they continued ribbing. At that point even Podrick had got over his embarrassment and had joined in the fun. When she was done eating she pushed back and stood up. “I’m going to start packing,” she announced, interrupting a discussion about whores in King’s Landing. 

“That’s my cue,” Jaime said, standing up and giving the other men a cocky look. 

“Oh for fuck sake,” Brienne muttered, stomping away. She checked a couple times to make sure Jaime was keeping up with his macho swagger slowing him down. When they got to the room she opened the door and held it for him. Once Jaime was inside she shut the door and turned to glare at him. 

Jaime just smiled, that same sexy smile she’d seen so many times before. “You’re not really mad at me, are you?” He started walking towards her and Brienne backed up until she hit the door and couldn’t go any further. She was trapped. “They would have found out eventually,” he said softly, his lips only inches from hers. Brienne’s heart was beating wildly. She both loved and hated the way he could seduce her so easily. “The way you look at me with those sexy eyes.” 

“Shut up,” she sighed. “You look at me the same way.” 

Jaime nodded, “I do. See, that’s my point - they already know how we feel about each other - they’d assume we’re fucking whether it’s true or not.” 

“But it is true…” Brienne said, putting her hands around his waist inside his heavy fur cape. 

“Thank the gods it is,” Jaime agreed, before kissing her lips as he pressed her back into the door. Brienne knew they really didn’t have time but she couldn’t stop him, not right away, because it just felt too good. Eventually she dipped her head to break the kiss. Jaime rested his lips on her forehead for a moment. 

“We really should start getting packed up,” Brienne said with a long sigh. She was really enjoying having a room and a bed - and someone to share it with. But alas, it was back out on the road again, headed even further north where it was even colder and even closer to those monsters. She would do it in a heartbeat though if it meant keeping Jaime safe. She didn’t even want to imagine what would happen to him if he went back to King’s Landing. Would Cersei really put him in jail? Or did she just want him back to do her bidding? Brienne wasn’t sure which option was worse. 

“We have a few hours,” Jaime said nonchalantly. “You know it’s gonna be a while before we can soak in a proper tub again, right?” Brienne sighed again, yet another thing she was going to miss about staying at Winterfell. “We should probably take advantage of the bath before we leave, don’t you think?” 

He had a wicked look in his eye and finally she caught on to what he was hinting at. “You do make a good point Ser Jaime,” she said sweetly. 

“Oh, so formal,” he teased. She hadn’t used the ‘Ser’ in a while. “Maybe we should get to know each other a little more intimately…” Brienne was already halfway out the door as he finished and she said a silent prayer that the tub room was free and empty.


	16. Chapter 16

It took a while to fill the tub, but finally Brienne sunk down into the hot bath with a sigh. Jaime had got in before her and she was sure there was no way they were both fitting, but alas, with her knees tucked up she was able to sit between his legs comfortably. “Lean back, it’s okay,” he said, tugging her shoulders gently. She put her back against his chest and Jaime wrapped his arms around her body, tucking his chin over her shoulder. Skin on skin in the relaxing warm water was bliss. Brienne decided that they should just stay there forever - or at least until the water got cold and they turned all wrinkly. 

Silently she began to wash her body, passing off the soap to him as she finished. She had questions for him, things that had been in the back of her mind and needed to be asked, but Brienne allowed them both a long moment of peace before she finally spoke, “Do you miss her?” It was a question she already knew the answer to and if he gave the wrong answer she knew he was lying, but for some reason she needed to know he’d be honest about it and not try to lie so as to spare her feelings. 

“I miss some things about her,” Jaime replied. “I miss the good parts of her that have all but disappeared. I used to think they were still there, somewhere inside her. I used to believe her heart was still good and kind, just tarnished from so much loss and sadness…” His voice trailed off. Brienne knew if she was facing him his eyes would be filled with despair, she could hear it in his tone. “And maybe way deep down it is… She could have killed Tyrion and she didn’t. She could have killed me and she didn’t.” Jaime ran his hand up her arm and back down. It was just an thoughtless action while he pondered what to say, but it was soothing and comforting to feel his touch and be reminded he wasn’t with Cersei - he was with her. “So yeah, I miss parts of her, but I don’t think that Cersei will ever be back again. The woman she is now… she’s not the sister I loved all my life. She’s cruel, power hungry and evil. She betrayed me… I’ll never trust her again and just looking at her after made me so angry.” Brienne put a hand on his leg, just to offer her support as he spoke right from the heart. “No, my sister is gone,” he said with finality. “Whatever shell is left of her I can say with certainty that I don’t miss - at all.” 

“Were you at least flattered… that she wants you back?” Brienne asked as she stretched out a long leg and rested her ankle on the edge of the tub. 

Jaime chuckled and it made his chest vibrate against her back. “You know what she said?” he asked. “No one walks away from me.” He spoke in a pompous tone. “She was talking about Euron Greyjoy, but she meant me too… she even threatened her treason then. I really didn’t think she’d actually follow through with it and threaten to send people after me, but it’s just a desperate attempt to control me. I get that and I’m not going to let it happen.” 

Brienne was more than satisfied with both responses, but the next question had been plaguing her to the point she didn’t want to even bring it up. No one else had, which she found very strange. “Jaime,” she said, turning a bit to face him. “Daenerys knows you killed her father… that’s not something a person just gets over…” 

“You’re worried she will kill me on the spot?” he asked. Brienne nodded slowly. “The thought had crossed my mind too. I mean, she had the chance in King’s Landing, but it would have been a bit problematic to kill me and then ask my sister for help in the war.” He didn’t look nearly as worried as she felt, which did help begin to ease her fears. “Listen, Tyrion knows the truth about what happened with the Mad King. If he hasn’t told Daenerys already… he will tell her to protect me. My brother won’t let her kill me and she trusts Tyrion completely.” As his words sunk in she started to feel like she could finally breathe again. “And… there’s Bran… uh, the three eyed raven. It was his idea to send me to Daenerys. He wants me alive… believes I play some bigger role in this war to come… so it doesn't make sense for him to send me to her knowing she will just kill me, right?” When he finished he was smiling, looking at her with those dazzling eyes of his. Jaime reached out and touched her face, “Smile Bri - it’s gonna be okay.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “And let’s quit talking about this stuff anyway… if I’m going to die soon I want to spend my last moments with a sexy woman who I love more than anything.” 

Brienne didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or smack him for his terrible joke so she did a combination of all three, laughing and slapping him gently on the chest as her eyes became wet with tears. She wasn’t much of a cryer, so she would fight them off before anything trickled down her cheek, but Jaime had pushed her pretty close to full on tears several times. “You’re not dying,” she whispered. “I swore to Sansa I would keep you safe and you know I don’t ever break my oaths.” 

Suddenly his face changed, from relaxed and carefree to completely serious. “Swear you’ll always love me,” he said intensely. “Unless I do something that makes me no longer worthy of your love.” His request caught her off guard, but the passion and need in his voice was unmistakable. Perhaps Jaime was one of those men who always needed to know they were loved and now that he didn’t have Cersei he needed it from her. Or maybe he just loved her that much that he never wanted to lose her. Or maybe it was something else. But it was clear that he wanted to be part of her life for the long run - however long that may be with the terrors they would face in the near future. They may have only expressed their love recently, but Brienne knew the seeds of their connection had been planted long ago, perhaps from the first time they ever laid eyes on each other. 

She slowly lifted her hands from the water and put them on his face. “I swear,” Brienne said simply. For her an oath was something that could never willingly be broken - he knew that and that’s exactly why he’d asked. She knew it too and that’s exactly why she’d done it. Brienne didn’t need him to reciprocate because in a way he already had by asking. She also knew that even though he was acting like everything was fine he was no more certain than she was what the future would hold or how long it would really last. Before he had the chance to speak she turned around fully and kissed him. 

A long time ago, when she was a little girl, full of imagination and wonder, someone had told her that when she fell in love, when it was real - she would know. She had thought she was in love with Renly Baratheon. She was sure the way she devoted herself to him and the ache like part of her heart was missing when he died was what it felt like to be in love with someone. But then along came Catelyn Stark and she felt the same devotion and sense of honour towards her. Now here was Jaime and it was so much the same but so much different. When Jaime told her he loved her was the moment Brienne finally knew what it was like to love someone completely. There were no doubts. This was love and it was magical. 

Their bodies slipped over each other under the water as the kissing became more passionate and they had to adjust their positions. Brienne spread her legs and knelt across his thighs and Jaime grabbed her ass, moving her a bit higher to rest on his groin. She gasped into his mouth as she brushed against his hard cock. The want and need to have him inside her again was so intense it terrified her. How could she be so desperate from something she’d only had a couple of times in her life? Would it only grow stronger the more times they fucked? Because she couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like to crave something any more than she already did. 

Jaime looked up at her and she saw the same need and desire reflecting back in his eyes. It felt incredible to be wanted in that way, not by just anyone, but by someone who loved her. The only problem was… she didn’t really know what she was supposed to do in that position. The other times they’d been in bed, with him on top and Jaime did everything. The confusion must have been evident in her eyes. “Lift up a bit,” he instructed gently. When she did Jaime took hold of his dick and held it at the right angle. “Okay,” he said with a nod. Nervously she started to sink back down until she felt the tip of his cock touch her between the legs. It made her body tingle with heat, even though half of her was exposed to the cold air in the room. It took a couple of tries to get the right angle but Jaime patiently soothed her until she found the right spot and he penetrated her. 

“Oh fuck,” she moaned as she slowly sunk down his shaft, taking him fully inside her. This position felt different, like he was deeper inside her than ever. She closed her eyes and revelled in the feeling of fullness that her body had been craving so desperately. She waited for him to move until she finally realized that it was up to her this time. 

Brienne was struck by a case of nerves and her eyes flew open. “Hey… it’s okay,” Jaime said quickly. He put his hand on her hip and lifted her slightly and then pulled her back down to help with the motion. She sucked in a breath and gave it a try, lifting up a bit and then taking him fully inside her again. “Fuck,” he sighed, closing his eyes this time as she made the same motion again. It didn’t take her long to develop a rhythm that felt amazing and kept Jaime looking blissful. 

Brienne grabbed the edge of the tub for leverage and it lifted her a little higher, which made it feel even better when she dropped back down on him again. Once she really got the hang of it she started to move a little faster. She noticed Jaime was moving with her, pushing up as she moved down. It felt so good she wanted to scream. Brienne bit hard on her lip to keep herself quiet, but couldn’t hold back the loud moan when Jaime started to suck on one of her nipples. 

She was trying so hard to keep moving, but Brienne was starting to feel dizzy as the fire began to build higher inside her. She was getting to the point where it was so hard to focus on everything she was supposed to be doing, while also allowing herself to feel too. Thankfully her Knight came to her rescue. Jaime began to fuck her from below. Maybe it was because he needed to go faster and she had slowed down, or maybe he just knew it was what she needed, but it didn’t matter because she was about to come and remind herself exactly why she craved this experience so much. 

“I’m getting close,” Jaime gasped, but she barely heard him because she was already there. Her body jolted and shook, and Brienne closed her eyes. The throbbing feeling in her pussy as Jaime continued to fuck her was incredible. It made everything feel more intense, hot, sexy, erotic, and so many other adjectives that she couldn’t think of to describe it. 

When Jaime pulled out she was already feeling so relaxed she wanted to just sink back into the water and close her eyes, but instead she knew she should probably get out. She honestly didn’t know if it was possible to get pregnant from his semen in the bathwater - but she wasn’t about to risk it. Brienne climbed out and wrapped herself in a towel then waited with one for him while she watched him finish as her pussy continued to throb. 

He was so sexy. She couldn't take her eyes off his face. It took great restraint to not jump back in with him because she just really needed to touch his body. Thankfully the first thing he did when he got out was wrap his arms around her and softly kiss her neck where his face was tucked. Brienne put the towel around him to keep the chill off his body and hugged him back. 

“Jaime, be honest with me… are you scared?” She asked pulling him ever closer. 

“Of course I am,” he said softly. “But if the three eyed raven can see things in the future and he's telling us to fight… there must be a future for us or what's the point?” 

Brienne smiled and nuzzled his cheek. Once again he'd found a way to make her feel hopeful. She was still scared of what they would face, not only in the coming days with the long trek to Castle Black through the frozen north and with Jaime bending a knee to the dragon Queen but also the war with the Night King and eventually… war with Jaime’s own sister. But she knew she had a group of strong, brave and wise people at her side, Jon, Daenerys, Tyrion, Sansa, Arya, Tormund, The Hound… and of course Jaime - and they were all worth fighting for.


	17. Chapter 17

The first night on the road they found a cozy Inn, but the Hound pointed out that it was probably not a smart idea for Jaime to go in. While Sansa now trusted Jaime, that trust hadn’t had time to spread outside of Winterfell. “We could pretend we have captured him and are taking him to King Jon at the wall,” Brienne suggested. The idea of Jaime sleeping off in the woods in a tent while everyone else got a warm and comfortable night’s rest made her feel terrible. 

Tormund sighed, “It’s not even that cold out yet. We could all just sleep in the tents…” 

“Fuck no,” the Hound and Podrick said, pretty much in unison. “We only have a couple more nights where Inns will even be available. I’ll be staying warm as long as I can,” Clegane grumbled. 

“Oh fine,” Tormund muttered, digging something out of his pack. He produced a piece of rope to tie Jaime’s hands. “Wait... do I just tie them together or what?” He looked confused as Jaime presented his wrists. 

“I’m wearing gloves, no one is going to notice I’m missing a hand,” Jaime muttered. 

“Except the ones who already know the legend of the golden handed Kingslayer,” Clegane snorted. 

“Just fucking tie him up and let’s get inside,” Brienne hissed. Once Tormund had the ropes tied tight she grabbed his elbow and led Jaime into the Inn. What should have been a good plan was a complete disaster. They wouldn’t allow Jaime to stay inside, offering only the stables. Not that she would have left him alone anyway, but Brienne had to sleep out there with him as his “guard.” Thankfully she did because during the night a group of men snuck in and tried to attack them, likely thinking of the fortune they could get for the Kingslayer’s hand… Or head. 

Brienne gathered up the others and they left before dawn, all tired, grumpy and hungry. The only one who still seemed to be in a good mood was Jaime. Fortunately for her, his smile and cheerful tone were infectious and helped her own humour tremendously. Not so much for the others though as they grumbled at his jokes and jesting. “This is all your fault Kingslayer,” the Hound hissed, as they set up tents the next night after passing a very comfortable looking Inn not far back. 

“His name is Jaime,” Brienne snapped defensively. 

Clegane was in a very pissy mood and he stepped up to her so they were eye to eye. “You’d better take your precious Jaime into your tent before I shove his golden hand right up his golden ass.” 

“Just when I thought we were becoming friends,” Jaime muttered. 

Brienne elbowed him hard. “Shut up.” 

“Fuck, just get some sleep you dimwits,” Tormund spoke up. “We have a fortnight and a half to go yet and it’s only gonna get colder. You pussies better get used to it.” Podrick had already ducked into his tent and the Hound slowly backed down. Brienne knew nothing serious would have come from the scuffle anyway. She didn’t fear Clegane - he’d changed and she was pretty sure it had a lot to do with Arya Stark. Shit, that was probably part of his terrible mood. Brienne didn’t even know if he’d really had a chance to talk with Arya in his short time at Winterfell. But she did know he was very protective of a girl who needed no protection any longer. 

Brienne took a risk. “She’s gonna be just fine,” she said, knowing the Hound would figure out exactly who she was talking about. 

His face softened and he nodded, “Aye. She will.” With that the confrontation was over and they had reached an understanding. 

“Sansa?” Jaime whispered once they were inside the tent. Brienne shook her head. “Arya?” She nodded. He looked a bit perplexed, but didn’t ask for explanation. There were some very strange and unexpected relationships built all over Westeros, they both knew that first hand. 

They set up their makeshift bed, which wasn’t much, and laid huddled close together. Jaime was shivering already. “I’ll get used to it eventually, right?” he asked. Brienne had spent a lot more time in the North than he had. 

“Sadly, no,” she replied honestly. “The cold up here cuts through you and there’s nothing that makes you feel warm except a blazing fire or a hot bath.” 

“Or the heat of another body, skin on skin,” Jaime replied, his voice husky but tired. Brienne felt a stirring in her loins at the thought. It had only been two days since they had been together and already it felt like a lifetime. She couldn’t imagine having to wait until they were all the way up to Castle Black before she could lie with him again. 

“Soon my love,” Brienne whispered, touching his face with a gloved hand. It was a lie. She knew it was going to take forever to get to the Wall, but they both needed something hopeful. “My love” was something more than she’d intended. It just slipped out yet felt natural coming off her tongue - for a moment. Then suddenly she wished she could take it back. My love was something a noble Lady said, like Catelyn Stark, not someone like her. Yet Jaime didn’t seem thrown off by it at all, in fact he seemed quite pleased. 

Jaime smiled at her sleepily. “My love,” he mumbled, closing his eyes with a satisfied smile still on his lips. Brienne smiled too and settled down to sleep. It didn’t take long to drift off, given the long ride, early morning, and lack of sleep the night before. 

They broke their fast the next morning and then headed off once again. The days seemed to run together, all the same, though the scenery changed as they went. The snow got deeper, the wind got colder, and their travels became slower with the more difficult trek. They all made efforts to remain upbeat, but the long haul was taking it’s toll. 

Around halfway to the wall Brienne received a welcome visit from her moonblood. She almost felt guilty by how relieved she was to not be with child. Jaime would understand though. It wasn’t their time to be parents. With the looming darkness and terror Brienne couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to willingly bring a child into the world right then. He looked relieved too when she told him that night and he kissed her warmly. “The gods would never be so cruel,” he said, nuzzling her cheek. Brienne wasn’t so sure about that - the Gods had done some very cruel things - if one were to believe the Gods truly were responsible for the way things happened. 

 

As the days wore on and grew even colder Tormund was more in his element than ever. It was as if the frosty north had awaken a fire in him that the others would never understand. Brienne saw another side of him that was truly admirable and she could see the strong will of a great leader. The Hound bitched and moaned almost constantly, bantering back and forth with Tormund. The pair were quite entertaining to say the least. Even sour and cranky the Hound had a way about him that somehow lightened the mood and even brought out a full laugh at times. Jaime surprised her with his strength and perseverance. He would shiver and chatter, unable to control it, but he never complained - not once. He seemed full of gratitude, never wavering in his appreciation of the others helping grant him safe passage. Even Podrick, almost turning blue with cold at times, seemed content in his misery. They were a strange bunch, but more than a fortnight and a half in they had grown close as a group - though none would fully admit it. 

Just like she’d felt when she finally saw Winterfell in the distance not all that long ago on her return from King’s Landing - Castle Black on the horizon was a welcome and blessed sight. The last few miles were still slow going, but with the promise of walls to block the cold wind, warm fires and hot food, they made the last of the trek happily. 

When they finally made it to Castle Black they were greeted by three members of the night’s watch, several Unsullied guards and Tyrion Lannister. “Welcome… we’ve been expecting you,” he announced jovially. That had to be a good sign, Brienne decided, allowing the knot in her stomach to loosen a bit. Jaime looked immensely relieved to see his younger brother and in his joy he absentmindedly reached out and gently grazed her hand. Brienne pretended not to notice, but couldn’t help giving him a little glance. It was sweet and special that Jaime felt the need to have those tiny intimate moments with her whenever he was feeling deeply about something - good or bad. 

But while she was pretending not to notice Tyrion didn’t miss it, especially given that their hands were very close to eye level for him. Brienne saw a strange look cross his face. It wasn’t one of displeasure, perhaps a little surprise and maybe even a little satisfaction - but it was also filled with deep concern. “Oh sweet brother…” Tyrion sighed. “What in seven hells have you done?”


	18. Chapter 18

“The Queen has arranged for you all to have dinner brought to your rooms,” Tyrion explained as he led Jaime to a warm, quiet library to chat. Brienne and the others had been led off in the other direction but Tyrion requested a private audience with Jaime. “She will see you tomorrow, as it’s late and I’m sure you would all like to have a nice meal and warm bed after your long journey.” 

“Please express my gratitude to her grace,” Jaime said formally. “Dinner and a warm bed would be most welcome.” 

Tyrion closed the door and then turned and looked up at him. “If I didn’t know any better I would think you’ve had a warm bed for some time…” 

“There’s nothing warm out there on the road,” Jaime replied with a shiver, thinking how he’d almost forgot what it felt like to not be chilled to the bone. “No matter who shares my bed,” he added, giving Tyrion a grin. 

“So you are fucking her then?” Tyrion smiled back. 

“It’s more than fucking Sweet brother,” Jaime replied as he took a seat. “I’m in love with her.” 

Tyrion looked quite skeptical. “She’s hardly your type.” Jaime wasn’t quite sure how to take the comment, but thankfully Tyrion continued speaking. “But I have to say - that woman is quite marvelous - and certainly a step up for you. A very high step up. Really high. So high a man like myself couldn’t make the climb at all…” 

“Okay, point taken,” Jaime interrupted. 

Tyrion looked at him for a moment. “She doesn’t deserve it Jaime,” he said sadly. “Lady Brienne is a kind and honourable soul. Noble even. But she’s clearly naive when it comes to matters of the heart - and the sheets…” 

Jaime backed him up. “Woah, wait… she doesn’t deserve what?” 

Tyrion gave him a look as if he should already know exactly what he meant and once again Jaime felt like the dumbest Lannister for a moment. “She doesn’t deserve to have her heart broken.” Tyrion sighed and sat down. “Do you really think Cersei is going to just let you walk away from her? Do you really think you can?” 

Jaime crossed his arms defiantly. “I can and I did.” 

“For now… but what happens when you see her again… what happens when she begs you to come back, apologizes for all she’s done wrong and tells you how much she loves you and misses you?” It was annoying Jaime that Tyrion didn’t trust him or have faith in him, but he couldn’t really fault him for it. What he was describing was how Jaime’s entire life had gone. Cersei would hurt him and then beg him back - and every time he went, willingly, happy to be in her good graces again. Happy to be in her bed again. Then he would do something to disappoint her and the cycle would repeat. Tyrion knew better than anyone - he’d seen it first hand. 

“That won’t happen again,” Jaime insisted. “Not this time.” Tyrion still didn’t look convinced. He could have told him all about how Brienne had changed him for the better. He could have told him that he finally knew what it felt like to be in love. He could have explained that loving Brienne had opened his eyes to a new world - a world he wanted to be a part of. Jaime could have went on for hours about how much he was in love and how hard he planned to work to make sure he was the man Brienne deserved. But there was only one way to convince Tyrion that he would never go back to Cersei. “What do you know about why I’m here?” 

“Sansa sent a raven and said that you had news from King’s Landing to deliver to King Jon and Queen Daenerys, that you had left on your own will and were in danger from Cersei. That’s about all. She said you would explain the rest and begged that we keep you safe because the three eyed raven believes you’re important to the war.” Tyrion paused. “I don’t know that I believe that Bran has the ability to see into the future - but if I can use it to keep Dany from feeding you to one of her dragon’s for breakfast tomorrow I’ll do my best,” he joked. 

“Cersei isn’t going to follow through on the deal,” Jaime said. Perhaps he should have waited to explain everything in front of Dany and Jon in the morning, but he needed to have Tyrion 100% on his side. “She was plotting behind my back with Euron Greyjoy. She never intended to honour her word and send forces to help fight the Night King. She’s preparing for the battle to come after that - with Daenerys and Jon already weak from the fight up here.” 

Tyrion looked shook. “What’s her plan if we don’t actually beat the Night King?” he said softly. 

Jaime shrugged. “I guess she’ll have to fight then, won’t she?” 

“What a fucking cunt,” Tyrion muttered, starting to pace. “I really thought we got through to her…” 

“Tyrion, I’m here for another reason too,” Jaime said, standing up again. “Cersei sent a raven to Winterfell - I’m being charged with Treason. She threatened to send the Queensguard to collect me.” 

“Well now there’s a big surprise,” Tyrion snorted. “She wants you back already.” 

“But I’m not going back,” Jaime said insistently. It was time to prove it once and for all. “Tomorrow I will bend a knee to Daenerys Targaryen.” 

Tyrion froze and then slowly turned to face him. “You would turn your back on Cersei completely and devote yourself to Queen Daenerys?” Tyrion knew that if Jaime took a knee there was no going back because once Cersei found out she would never take him back. It was one thing for Tyrion to switch sides because she had always hated him, but Jaime… that was something completely different and Tyrion knew it. 

“I’ll do it right this minute if you don’t believe me,” Jaime replied, looking down to meet his brother’s eye. “I want to be here. I want to honour the deal that Cersei made with Daenerys, even if it’s just me.” 

Finally Tyrion started to laugh and sat down again. “You had to say all of that to make me believe you’re not going to hurt Lady Brienne didn’t you?” 

It never ceased to amaze Jaime just how intuitive and smart his brother was. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, “I love her Tyrion. It’s real.” 

“So it is,” he replied with a nod. “So it is…” 

“Now, I just need you to promise me that Dany isn’t going to have her men strike me down at first sight… there is that matter of me killing her father and all,” Jaime muttered. 

“I can’t say she’s completely forgiven you, but Daenerys knows what her father planned to do. She knows he was mad and she understands why you took his life.” Jaime was shocked. “She’s going to make a great Queen Jaime. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe that with my whole heart.” 

“I believe you,” Jaime said honestly. Tyrion always had been good at truly knowing people. Not the person they try to be or claim to be - but the real person. If he put that much faith in Dany then Jaime could feel good about joining them. 

After a moment of quiet between them Tyrion spoke again. “You seem… happy? Is it her? Or being away from Cersei?” 

“A lot of both,” Jaime admitted honestly. “Bri - Lady Brienne - she’s good for me. She’s what I’ve always wanted to be and fucked up my whole life,” he explained. “She knows true honour and she’s faithful and completely loyal… ironic isn’t it? Here I am claiming to want to be everything she is while shifting loyalty.” 

Tyrion made a scoffing noise, “Anyone who knows our dear sister would understand.” The brothers smiled at each other. 

“I’m truly sorry for all you’ve been through,” Jaime said. “All she did to you... that I let happen.” 

“Stop,” Tyrion replied, reaching up to grab his wrist. “You did what you could, when you could. You risked a lot for me and I will do the same for you.” 

Jaime looked down at where Tyrion was holding onto the gold and he was struck with the need to get rid of it. He reached down and tugged it off, leaving Tyrion holding it. “Take it. Sell it. Give it away. Whatever you want,” he said. He lifted his arm and it felt so light and free. It was the last of Cersei gone. She’d made it for him because it bothered her to see his stump. It was aesthetically pleasing for her and he'd thought he needed it too. But Jaime realized it had all been for her and for show. The only thing it really did was make him able to wear gloves, while making the skin underneath unnecessarily colder. It didn't bother Brienne when he took it off and she was the only one who mattered to him. 

Tyrion nodded in understanding and approval. “There was a time this would have bought me a lot of whores,” he joked. “The brothels are about the only thing I miss from King’s Landing.” 

Jaime laughed and then couldn't hold back the yawn that followed. “You need to get some rest,” Tyrion said. “But Jaime… just one more thing before you go… Cersei’s pregnant, you know that right?” Tyrion looked weary. Jaime nodded sadly. “I figured you did…Is it yours?” 

“She claims it is, yes,” he replied truthfully.

“Then you need to tell her,” Tyrion finished, giving Jaime advice that he already knew. “If it ever comes out and you didn’t tell her yourself... “ 

“I know, I know,” Jaime sighed. “I’ll tell her tonight.” With that he left and followed the Unsullied who was waiting in the hall to show him to his room. When they stopped at his door Jaime didn’t go in. “Lady Brienne’s room?” he asked. The man pointed his weapon at the door across the hall. “Thank you.” With that he was gone and Jaime stood in the cold, dark hallway alone. He stared at Brienne’s door wondering how he was supposed to tell her that somewhere back in King’s Landing there was a baby in a Queen’s belly that he had very likely put there.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit, I mulled over this chapter a lot, struggling to decide how I wanted Brienne to react and how I wanted to resolve it. My amazing muse Sara made a suggestion that I loved - so I owe her much gratitude for helping me get through this one :) And I owe you all much gratitude as well for sticking with me and continuing to read. Thank you!!

There was a light rap on her door and Brienne looked up to see Jaime enter. She’d just finished the delicious food they had brought her, probably the best meal she’d eaten in months, but she hadn’t been able to enjoy it much because she was worried and wondering how Jaime was. It was strange to be without him, even for less than an hour. They had been together every second of every day for weeks and it felt like part of her was missing. It seemed silly, but the second he returned she felt normal again. 

She stood and walked towards him. She didn’t like the look on his face. Brienne had learned to read his every emotion almost as if she was feeling it herself and whatever was going on - it left her feeling sick in the pit of her stomach. “What’s wrong?” she asked, freezing in place. “What did Tyrion have to say? Was it bad?” 

Jaime shook his head and managed a smile. “No, everything is fine with Tyrion. He’s going to do everything he can to help. I told him all about what happened… and we talked about you and I…” Brienne felt her cheeks go pink, but she was flattered that Jaime had told his brother about their relationship. “He approves,” Jaime added, giving her a look with a twinkle in his eye. It gave way quickly though, as his smile faded. That was definitely the end of the good news. 

“Jaime… tell me what’s wrong, please,” Brienne begged. While she’d been waiting for him to come back she’d imagined him walking in the door and the two of them reaching for each other and finally falling into each other’s arms like they’d both been wanting so badly. It was the only way she’d imagined the evening going once she knew they were safe - at least until they met with Daenerys the next morning. 

“Tyrion reminded me of something I need to tell you,” Jaime said quietly. He was avoiding her eyes. That was a bad sign. A terrible sign, because he never did that with her. He’d always looked her straight in the eye and spoke to her soul. “Bri, it’s something I should have told you a long time ago - when you first arrived back at Winterfell and found me there. I don’t know why I waited even this long, but you deserve to know and I pray you’ll forgive me for not telling you sooner.” 

“What is it?” Brienne asked timidly. She hated the way her voice sounded - so self conscious and scared. She was neither of those things, not anymore. But whatever he had to tell her was deeply concerning and she was on edge. 

“It’s about Cersei,” he said, pausing and finally looking at her again. Brienne felt bile rising in her throat at the mention of his sister’s name. If it was related to Cersei Lannister it couldn’t be anything but evil. She waited, looking back at him as her heart was hammering the inside of her chest. “She’s pregnant,” he said finally. 

The words were like a blow to her gut, knocking the wind out of her. She actually reeled a bit and doubled over slightly. Jaime went to reach for her and she held a hand out to stop him. “Don’t.” Brienne sucked in a long deep breath and righted herself. “It’s yours?” She asked. It had to be or what did it matter? She already knew what his answer would be. 

Jaime nodded. “She told me it’s mine,” he admitted. “At the time I don’t think she had any reason to lie, so it’s likely true.” 

Brienne couldn’t slow her mind down enough to comprehend it all, but she was able to manage one more comment. “Makes sense she’s trying so hard to get you back.” 

“No,” Jaime replied passionately. “That’s not it. She would never admit this child is mine - not now. That ship has sailed. She wants me back to keep controlling me like she always has… I walked away from her Bri, people know that. I would be so lucky as to even see my own child now,” Jaime said with a sigh. “I wouldn’t even be Uncle Jaime… and that’s if she even let me live.” 

The thoughts were flying around in her mind and it felt like a pounding inside her head, so distracting and almost painful. She wanted to clutch her head and drop to the ground and pray it would stop. The emotions were so strong, but they were also so many and they conflicted - anger, pity, moments of indifference and something else… was it envy? Or Jealousy? At the moment she wasn’t even sure she knew the difference between the two. She looked at him and the flood hit her again. Brienne knew she needed him gone so she could think without the damn sight of him influencing her feelings. If he so much as smiled at her it would melt her and she couldn’t have that happening until she knew for sure how she really felt. “I think you should go,” she said coldly. She hadn’t meant to sound so icy, but it was hard to keep her voice from breaking. 

“Please Bri,” he gave one more desperate plea. “I’ll go if that’s what you want, but you have to believe I would never hurt you. I love you, with all of my heart.” Brienne bit her tongue. Her heart was telling her to reciprocate and tell him she loved him just as much. But her mind said she needed to shut the fuck up and figure things out first. Jaime walked to the door and then stopped and looked back. “I’m right across the hall,” he said. “I’ll leave the door unlocked… in case you need me.” 

Then he was gone and the room was dead silent. Brienne was left with nothing but the voices screaming in her mind. She tried to think while she paced, then tried while sitting down, and even flopped on the bed - but nothing worked. It felt like the walls were closing in on her and Brienne decided she needed to get out, go for a walk and try to clear her mind somehow. 

She wandered through the halls of the castle and considered going outside, but she hadn’t put on her cloak and she was already cold enough inside the walls. She wasn’t getting anywhere and considered just turning back and attempting to sleep when she noticed a light casting shadows down the hall a ways. It was the middle of the night by that point. No one else should have been awake, other than guards. Perhaps that’s all it was, Brienne thought as she got closer. She realized she was wrong as she got to the door where the light was coming from. It was wide open and she couldn’t pass it without being spotted. Knowing she wasn’t doing anything wrong Brienne stepped into the light. 

As she peeked in she found herself staring down at Tyrion Lannister, seating at a huge desk, reading a book bigger than him. “Lady Brienne?” he looked up curiously. “Is there something wrong? I thought for sure your entire crew would be long asleep by now.” 

“It’s late, I could say the same for you,” she replied, ignoring his question as she leaned on the door frame. 

Tyrion chuckled. “I don’t sleep. Not much anyway. I used to drink myself to sleep to cure the insomnia, but now I just make better use of my time - gaining knowledge,” he said, gesturing towards the book. “I’ve always had a fascination with dragons,” he added with a grin. “Thought I’d already read everything there was to know until I found this library.” He waved her inside, “Come, sit. It’s not often I get company this time of night. Company worth talking to anyway,” he added with a sly grin. Night guards tended to be less than chatty, Brienne knew that. 

Despite her hesitation Brienne found herself slipping into the room and taking a seat at the desk across from him. “I’m afraid I’m not great company tonight anyhow,” she admitted. 

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with my brother and perhaps my sister as well?” Tyrion asked, giving her a cautious look. Brienne simply shrugged. Tyrion clearly knew everything that was going on, but she really wasn’t sure she wanted to talk about it with him. “Do I have your permission to speak freely m’lady?” Tyrion asked. Brienne looked up from where she’d been studying her boots and gave him a slow nod. “I would like to begin with a question, if that’s okay?” He leaned his elbows on the table. “What bothers you the most about Cersei being pregnant?” When she didn’t reply right away he gave her some options, “Is it that he didn’t tell you sooner? Is it because you worry he will go back to her? Is it the incest?” 

Brienne wrung her hands and sighed. She really didn’t want to talk. She wanted to pull out her sword and spar with someone. She wanted to fight away the thoughts that were upsetting her until she felt calm and in control once again. But instead she found herself answering Tyrion. She hadn’t even realized she knew the answer until it was coming out of her mouth. “It’s because it’s one more thing that ties him to her.” 

Tyrion nodded slowly. “Then let’s deal with that, shall we?” 

Brienne’s eyes snapped to his. “What do you mean? How?” 

“Well, I obviously can’t do anything to make this baby go away,” Tyrion replied. “But I can assure you that Jaime is doing everything he can to cut all ties with Cersei.” Brienne had really been hoping there was something more coming than that. “Did he tell you?” Tyrion asked. He reached for something on the floor and when he held it up she gasped. He was holding Jaime’s golden hand. Brienne wracked her brain, but she couldn’t even remember noticing that he didn’t have it on when he’d come to her room. “He took this off and gave it to me when we talked earlier. He said it’s the last thing that ties him to Cersei and he didn’t want it anymore.” 

Brienne was stunned. She was also very proud of Jaime, even if she wasn’t quite ready to express that. “But it’s not,” she whispered. “It’s not the last thing, is it?” 

“Let me ask you another question,” Tyrion went down another path. “Would it bother you if Jaime made no claim on the child or even denied he’s the father?” Brienne had to think for a moment about that. “There are many fatherless children out there. Bastards all over. Do you hold ill will towards those men who don’t acknowledge their children?” 

“I.. um… I…” Brienne stammered as she tried to decide how she felt. “I think it’s honourable of him to be honest that the baby is his,” she decided. “But if he were to never see the child, by choice or by circumstance… I think I could understand.” 

“Good,” Tyrion nodded. “Because he will never see the child. Not as a father anyway,” he said. “Cersei will very likely wed Euron Greyjoy and convince him and the rest of the seven kingdom’s that the child is his.” 

“But that’s a lie,” Brienne found herself blurting out, suddenly angry that Cersei would take away any chance of Jaime being the father. Once again she was confused at how she could be hurt and angry at him one minute and defending him the next. 

She noticed Tyrion was giving her a tiny smile. “Jaime can still be a father one day,” he said gently. “Or maybe he won’t ever have children to proudly claim as his own.” Brienne knew Tyrion was referring to her and Jaime having children together, but he was making it clear that it was none of his business either way. “But Lady Brienne… wouldn’t you agree that the most important part is my dear Brother’s happiness?” It was a fair statement and she nodded in a agreement. “Then I will make you a single plea - don’t let Cersei ruin what you and Jaime have. She’s been my brother’s puppeteer his entire life but he’s finally free. Don’t let her get to you and acknowledge anything that might allow her even a glimmer of power.” 

Tyrion rose and walked around to her side of the desk. He reached up high and placed a hand soothingly on her shoulder. “I’ve never seen Jaime this happy and believe me - I’ve known him a long time,” Tyrion said with a little laugh. “He loves you Lady Brienne. And I can see it on your face that you love him too.” He squeezed her shoulder. “You don’t have to take my advice, though I’ve been told I’m wise enough to advise a Queen…” He gave her a little smile. “Go to him. Be in love. We don’t know how much longer we have in this life… don’t waste a precious second.” Tyrion patted her shoulder, “Listen to me… I wanted company to chat and there I did all the talking.” 

“Thank you,” Brienne whispered. The youngest Lannister was wise indeed and she knew Daenerys Targaryen was one lucky Queen to have Tyrion on her side. Whatever stroke of fate had brought them together may have been the first step towards saving all of Westeros. 

Tyrion nodded his head. “You’re welcome to stay if you like, but I’m suddenly feeling like I could actually sleep,” he said. “If you’d be so kind as to put out the lantern and shut the door when you leave?” Brienne bobbed her head and watched him turn to go. Suddenly he stopped and turned back. “I don’t know what you did to him - but thank you. And thank you for loving him so selflessly. He’s deserved that his whole life.” 

When Tyrion was gone she sat there quietly for a moment. Finally there really was silence. The pounding in her head was gone and her mind was truly clear. She knew exactly what she needed and wanted to do. Brienne got up, put out the light and closed the door behind her as she left the little library. She retraced her steps back to her room, but she didn’t go in. Instead she turned around and looked at the door across the hall. Brienne took two steps and reached for the handle, then let herself in to Jaime’s room.


	20. Chapter 20

“I prayed to the gods you’d come,” Jaime said, startling her, his voice sleepy. “Unless I’m just delirious from lack of sleep and you’re just a beautiful mirage.” 

“I’m really here,” Brienne replied, walking over to his bedside. Jaime’s room was warm, he’d clearly been keeping the fire going all night. He was lying in bed, shirtless at least, perhaps even naked under the sheets. Brienne tried to push that thought out of her mind because they really did need to talk first. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said as she took a seat on the edge of his bed. Jaime sat up. “You know how sorry I am, right?” He was pleading for her understanding because he had no idea he already had it. 

“Shhh,” she said gently, reaching out to touch a short piece of hair that had fallen onto his forehead. “It’s okay. We’re okay.” His eyes were so expressive and given how well she knew him he often didn’t have to ask questions because she was answering before he did. Jaime was confused and he wanted to know what had brought her there and made everything okay. “I did some thinking… and then I went for a walk,” Brienne smiled at him. “I ran into your brother still up reading.” Jaime looked proud and it made her feel good to know that the Lannister brothers cared so deeply for one another. “Jaime… he’s so wise and brilliant.” 

“That he is,” Jaime agreed. 

“We talked and he made me decide what bothered me the most,” Brienne explained. She felt like she really needed to walk him through her process so he could understand how she was feeling. “I said I was worried about how this baby would be another thing that connected you to Cersei.” Jaime was shaking his head, but he didn’t speak, he let her finish. “I didn’t even notice when you came earlier,” she said, reaching down to take his right arm in her hand. She looked up at him. “You’re so brave,” she whispered. 

Brienne leaned down and kissed the scarred flesh. “I hope you know I would never ask you to be something you're not,” she whispered. “All I truly want is a man of Honour and Ser Jaime, that's what you are.” 

“All I want is to continue to make you proud,” he replied. “I will never be able to repay you for helping me figure out the kind of man I’ve always wanted to be, but the only way I can think to try is to keep being that man.” 

“And that is all I would ever ask of you,” Brienne told him truthfully. There was one more thing she needed to tell him. Something she’d considered carefully, but was sure she’d come to the right decision. “Jaime, if you want to tell people the baby is yours… if you ever want to try to be a part of his or her life… I will support you.” 

He looked completely shocked by her words. “Why… how… how would you feel comfortable with that?” he asked, dumbfounded. 

“Because I trust you and I believe you when you say you love me,” Brienne said with a simple shrug. “I know it was hard for you to be around Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen as their uncle while keeping the truth hidden. I won’t be the reason that you feel like you have to do that again. If you want to claim the child you have my blessing.” 

“And how would you feel about me if I didn’t want that?” Jaime asked softly. 

Brienne smiled at him. “I’ll still love you either way.” He looked relieved. “Listen, I know how complicated it would be if you admit you’re the father. So if you want to avoid that and let Cersei find some other surrogate father to convince that the child is his… I would understand. I won’t judge you either way.” She would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that she hoped he would have nothing to do with the baby, only because it meant bringing Cersei back into their lives. Tyrion had already told her that Cersei wouldn’t let it happen anyway, but if part of honour for Jaime was trying… she couldn’t argue with that. 

“I may not be as brave as you think,” he said, looking down at her hand, still on his arm. “But I don’t want to claim the child. I don’t want to give Cersei the satisfaction of finding any way to draw me to look upon her evil self yet again.” When he looked back up at her face Brienne was smiling. Jaime chuckled. “That’s what you wanted to hear anyway, hmm?” 

“It had to be your choice though,” Brienne admitted, confirming her feelings. Jaime reached out and took her other hand in his, linking their fingers gently. She was exhausted and she knew he had to be as well, but his touch was waking up those desires she’d had to put aside for a while. She had to keep talking to retain her focus. “Are you worried about tomorrow?” 

“I trust Tyrion will keep me… keep us all, safe,” Jaime said, stroking her palm with his thumb. There were warm tingles running down her spine and she had to struggle to keep her eyes open and not close them and lose herself in his touch. “But one of her Dragon’s almost roasted me once before... I still have nightmares about it. I just hope Daenerys realizes we were on the opposite side of the battlefield then and I was doing my job…” He really looked concerned. 

“Just be yourself,” Brienne advised him. “Let her see your passion, your bravery… and I supposed turning on the Lannister charm couldn’t hurt, right?” She teased. 

Jaime laughed. “I don’t know… you sure resisted my charm for a long time.” 

“Well thankfully persistence is also another character trait of yours,” she replied smiling at him. 

“Most would just call me stubborn,” he chuckled. They stared at each other for a moment, both smiling though they were very tired. “Do you want to sleep?” he asked, still staring into her eyes. Brienne slowly shook her head and released his hand to stand up. “Me neither,” Jaime said, slipping out of bed to reveal that he was indeed naked. Her next breath caught in her chest at the sight of him, muscled and so beautiful. She tried to play it cool and looked him up and down, then raised her eyebrows. “I feel like I’m on fire when I get anxious,” he explained, with one of his sexy half grins. “But still I kept the room nice and warm… and you are way overdressed.” The temperature of the room didn’t really matter anymore as he started to help her undress. Her body was on fire too. She watched him removing her clothing and noticed how he seemed so much more at ease without the golden hand, as if it had only been hindering him all this time. It took him some time and she could have undressed much quicker herself, but she liked the way it felt to have Jaime strip her, slowly revealing more of her body to himself while he looked delighted as if he were unwrapping a gift. 

When she was finally naked Jaime walked around behind her and wrapped her in his arms. He explored her body, grazing her softly with the palm of his hand while he placed warm kisses on her shoulders, working his way to her neck. Brienne moaned as he touched her between the legs, his fingers pushing deep into her wet folds. Jaime rocked his hips and gently rubbed his hard cock against her ass as he continued to play with her. She started to move with him, following his lead like a dance, and Jaime groaned. “I want you,” he growled in her ear. “Fuck Bri, I need you,” he said, so desperately it moved through her like hot lava, making every inch of her burn hotter. 

She wanted him too. Every part of her wanted Jaime inside her, with the same desperation she'd heard in his voice. “How?” She asked, leaning back against him, turning her head to nuzzle his cheek. She wanted him to know she was ready and she wanted him too, but she didn't know if she should lay down or if he wanted her on top. 

Jaime leaned forward a bit and then lightly touched the small of her back, bending her forward until she had to put her hands on the bed to hold herself. He used his foot to nudge her legs just a little further apart as she waited with such intense anticipation. Then she felt something… right where his fingers had been, but as he pushed in and filled her up Brienne knew he wasn't touching her with his hand any longer. 

Brienne gasped. It felt so good. Maybe it was because of the long wait and all the sexual tension, or maybe it was the position, but it felt even better than the other times they had made love. He was so deep inside her, each thrust feeling like he was somehow pushing deeper. She barely recognized the sounds that were coming out of her, especially when he started to move faster, slamming into her so hard she had to really brace herself against the bed. It was wild and sexy, not like the slow and gentle pace before. It was new and exciting - and Brienne was loving every second. 

At first she wasn't sure she would like not being able to see his face while they fucked, she loved the intimacy of seeing his desire in his eyes. But Brienne was learning that there was more to sex than she could have imagined. One way could make you feel something amazing and another way could make you feel just as amazing yet different. It was even more exciting to think that maybe there were even more possibilities yet. Perhaps even more than Jaime already knew - things they could discover together. 

Brienne closed her eyes and pictured his handsome face. It was still crazy some days to think of where they were now and where they had been only a few short months ago. Jaime was the one, she was sure of it. It wasn't just because he was her first - Brienne was convinced he was her first because he was the one she had been waiting for, without even knowing she was waiting for someone. 

Brienne felt the tension inside her building to the point of release. She wasn't sure she could control the scream that was threatening to explode from her any second. When the moment hit she pressed her face into the blanket to muffle her cries, terrified she would wake whoever was next to them - likely Tormund with her luck. 

“Oh sweet mothers of the gods,” she heard Jaime moan as her pussy started to throb, contracting on his dick as he continued to fuck her at a much slower pace. She was thankful that he wasn't still pounding her because she wasn't sure she could keep her legs from giving out if he was. Jaime was holding her hips, moving slow and pushing so deep inside her. Her body was still throbbing when he finally pulled out, leaving her satisfied but suddenly empty. She loved the way it felt when he filled her and stretched her and she knew it was something she would never stop craving. 

She heard him make a strangled grunting noise and knew it was over for him too. Shortly after that they were lying in bed, tangled together, barely awake. Brienne was surprised how well she could sleep with him touching her. It was comfortable and intimate, secure… and it felt safe to be with him like that. She found his arm in the dark and followed it down to the end, then gently ran her finger over the scarred flesh. Jaime kissed her forehead tenderly and sighed happily. “Sleep,” he whispered. “We’re only gonna get a few hours before someone is banging on the door.” 

“Night Jaime,” she got out, before she finally let herself give way to the exhaustion. She didn't know if he reciprocated or not because a split second later she was sound asleep. Thankfully she was out before her mind could start to worry about what the next day would bring.


	21. Chapter 21

Brienne, Jaime, Tormund and the Hound were already waiting when Dany strode gracefully into the room. A very pretty young woman named Missandei made the formal introduction, "Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons.” 

Brienne glanced around during an awkward silence and finally she stepped forward and introduced Jaime, “Ser Jaime, of House Lannister, Your Grace.” She bowed slightly and then stepped back, leaving Jaime front and center before the queen. He was still wearing clothes of the north, instead of the usual shining armour and gallant capes from King’s Landing, but his hair was clean and combed, his face shaved and he looked every bit as handsome as he should to meet a Queen. 

“It's my honour and pleasure,” Jaime said, bowing to the queen. 

Daenerys looked cold and very formal, perhaps even annoyed. Brienne knew she was a strong leader, but she’d always heard tell of her kind and just heart. Right then, she didn’t see any of that being extended towards Jaime and it made her very nervous. 

“I’m told you have news for me from King’s Landing,” Dany said, addressing Jaime with an emotionless stare. 

“I do,” Jaime replied with a nod. Brienne stared at the floor while he told the young Queen of Cersei’s planned betrayal. She looked up expecting some sign of shock or upset on Daenery’s face, but she saw the same cold demeanor. The woman gave nothing away of what she was feeling inside. 

“And why should I believe what you say is true?” Dany asked him. “You, Ser Jaime… twin brother to the queen, commander of the Queensguard… Kingslayer…” Her voice trailed off and Brienne saw Jaime bristle and stiffen. She was feeling it all with him, every emotion. The hint of fear, the annoyance at being called Kingslayer, the desire to do whatever was necessary to stay alive. 

Jaime did his best to explain what Cersei’s betrayal had meant for him, and his desire to honour the deal that had been struck. He avoided bringing up the Kingslayer aspect. Tyrion had already explained that to the Queen and Brienne hoped it was more of a jab than anything else. 

Daenerys listened patiently and always chose her words carefully, “Let me ask you this - how long did it take Lady Sansa to trust you?” 

“It wasn’t until she received a bird from King’s Landing… from Cersei,” Jaime replied. “That she finally believed what I said to be true.” 

“And what news did this raven bring you?” she asked, raising her eyebrows curiously. 

“My dear sister is charging me with treason. She told Sansa she would be sending members of the Queensguard to Winterfell to take me back to King’s Landing,” Jaime admitted. “Brandon Stark - the Three Eyed Raven, suggested I come here, tell you the news in person and bend a knee to my new Queen.” 

Dany was silent for a moment, then she glanced over at Tyrion who had been perfectly silent to that point, “The Stark boy is smart. No man should be charged with treason by a woman who is no longer his Queen.” Tyrion gave a nod and smiled at her before she turned back to Jaime, who was about to kneel. “Not yet,” she snapped. “Stand up.” Jaime righted himself and Brienne held her breath as her heart rate doubled. “We aren’t finished talking.” Brienne could tell Jaime was nervous and she wished there was something she could do to help calm him. “You and your men tried to kill one of my dragons… one of my children and you had a notion to come after me,” she accused him. 

“With all due respect Your Grace… you attacked my army - we were only fighting back to defend ourselves and your dragon tried to roast me…” Brienne was holding her breath again. What the fuck was he doing challenging her like that? Was he insane? “It was a battle, we were soldiers on opposing sides. Would you not expect me to take every measure possible to defend the Queen and my men?” Dany didn’t reply right away and Brienne wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or bad sign. “I will do the same for you now - if you let me bend a knee and swear to serve you. I will fight bravely, and honourably in your name.” 

The silence was making Brienne crazy. She looked at each face around the room. Tormund looked somewhat bored, like he was waiting for something more exciting to happen, or like he’d rather be somewhere else. The Hound looked rather amused. He had that same sneer on his face she’d seen many times before. At least she knew he was a loyal dog, even if he rarely took much seriously. Jon was harder to read. He seemed rather indifferent, like he just wanted to get it over with but didn’t really care which way things went. Tyrion was pacing a bit and clearly had a belly full of nerves, much like she did herself. He was probably just as annoyed as her with how Jaime had challenged Dany that way. Jaime though, he looked determined and more at ease than she’d seen him the entire meeting. Brienne didn’t understand it, but looking at how calm he was was quite therapeutic for her. If he wasn’t scared, why should she be? 

Brienne was reminded why she was scared when she looked upon the face of the Dragon Queen. Dany looked fierce and untouchable - and it was likely the honest truth. Her eyes bored into Jaime’s like she was trying to drop him with her stare, but he held his ground, unyielding. Brienne still wasn’t sure if he was being brave and fearless or completely stupid, but whatever the outcome he was carrying himself with such dignity and she couldn’t help but feel proud of him. 

A great deal of time passed and still no one spoke. Brienne begged for someone, anyone, to end the silence. If she wasn’t terrified she would make it worse she would have said something herself just to break the quiet. Finally it was Jaime who spoke again. Brienne tried not to visibly cringe, hoping it wasn’t the wrong decision. 

“If you're still unsure Your Grace, I beg you show me mercy… in the name of love,” Jaime said passionately as he took his eyes from the Queen’s face to gaze upon Brienne instead. “Whether I'm made long for this world or my time is coming soon to an end… whatever days or years I have left… I want to spend them with this woman.” He looked back at Dany and Brienne felt her face grow warm, though the sentiment of his words and the way he spoke of their love so freely, it was breathtaking. “So I beg you to allow me to take a knee and enter your service alongside my brother, your faithful people, King Jon, Lady Brienne and the rest of the North.” 

Brienne looked up and realized Dany was staring at her. Her face held no expression at first, but slowly she gave Brienne a warm smile. She smiled back at the queen, unable to help herself, but quickly reigned in her emotions when Daenerys started to speak. She wasn't looking at anyone any longer, just off into the distance, somewhat forlorn. “I had a great love once,” she said softly. “My moon and stars… Drogo,” she added, her voice barely a whisper. “I never thought I might feel that way again. I was sure love like that only comes once… but now I'm feeling uncertain,” her eyes shifted briefly to Jon Snow and the smile returned to her lips. 

“You may bend a knee Ser Jaime,” Daenerys said. “I trust you will honour what this ritual represents from this day forward.” 

Relief washed through Brienne with the force of a raging river as she watched Jaime drop formally to a knee at Dany’s feet. “I Jaime, of House Lannister, do solemnly pledge my allegiance to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen, the rightful ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. I will serve you faithfully and honourably - my Queen.” 

The dread and worry gave way to pride and joy as she watched Jaime name a new queen and in the process denounce his own sister and her claim to the Iron Throne. Brienne caught Tyrion’s eye and he gave her a quick wink. She knew he was feeling exactly the same way. 

Dany rose and then addressed the group one final time. “Tomorrow we will start to prepare for perhaps the greatest battle the Seven Kingdoms has ever seen. It will be long and hard fought, but I am certain we will be victorious. But that is tomorrow,” she said with a smile. “Tonight we will have a great feast in honour of those who are willing to sacrifice their lives to save Westeros from the Night King. We will look upon each other with pride and fill our bellies with food and wine - one last time, together as sisters and brothers.” 

With that she was gone, followed by a trail of faithful servants. Tyrion lingered behind to talk to Jaime. “Fuck, big brother, for a moment there I thought you’d done something even more stupid than Jon Snow at the dragon pit,” he whispered. “Go rest up and prepare for the feast you lucky bastard.” Tyrion gave them both and smile and took off after Dany whistling a tune. 

As the two of them left the room Jaime leaned over and whispered, “Do you think it was the Lannister charm?” Brienne looked at him and rolled her eyes, but she had to fight off a giggle at the same time. She brushed his hand with hers and they shared a look. It was their version of holding hands in public, as neither of them would feel fully comfortable showing that kind of affection in that moment in front of the others. But there was to be a feast that night - with dinner and drinks… and dancing. She couldn’t get the image of her and Jaime spinning around the dance floor out of her mind. There were times he made her feel like so much like a fair maiden, yet he never made her feel like she needed to be anything different than who she truly was because that’s the woman he fell in love with. With a private smile she followed the others, feeling very excited about a feast - for the first time in her life.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a nice little light and fluffy chapter to wrap this one up. I can’t believe it’s over! I appreciate each and every one of you who have taken time out of your day to share in this journey with me. I was terrified to jump into a new fandom but you guys have been so welcoming and kind. Hope everyone has a great weekend! XOXO Bobbi

Even though Brienne hadn’t willingly taken part in many grand feasts she knew this one was different. There had been feasts when she was a girl on her home island of Tarth and she’d seen prestigious weddings even, but she never got excited and never really understood the hoopla. That night, even though there was no grand ballroom, fancy dresses or singers with golden harps - she was excited, and she understood what it meant to celebrate and enjoy being surrounded by the people who felt like family. 

The food was meager in comparison to a typical feast, but it was far better than what they’d been eating on the road, or even in Winterfell where the rationing had already begun. She had been concerned at first because it didn’t seem right to overindulge while already in short supply, but Brienne later realized that the food they were eating was mostly brought from the south and wouldn’t keep long without spending time salting, pickling and preserving with supplies they didn’t have available anyway. It made her feel better to know they weren’t over using things that needed to last through the winter and the wars. 

The wine and ale was freely flowing as well and she never found her cup empty for long. She knew things would get rowdy later that night, but for right then the alcohol buzz only seemed to enhance everyone’s enjoyment. Jaime looked more relaxed and happy than she’d ever seen. He even seemed to have broke through King Jon’s cold exterior evident by the laugh they were sharing over something Brienne didn’t hear. 

It was strange to her to see both nobles and servants mingling as one, but Queen Daenerys had given everyone the night off to enjoy once things were prepared. Missandei and a handsome Unsullied man were holding each other tight on the makeshift dance floor. What they were doing wasn’t the usual kind of dancing she’d seen the highborn lords and ladies do, but it looked much more sweet and romantic. Brienne watched them for a moment and imagined dancing like that with Jaime. He would have been formally trained as a child and no doubt knew how to dance very well, but there was something so free about the way the young lovers swayed together as one that she envied. 

She was still watching when she heard a voice speak her name, “I trust you’re having a good evening Lady Brienne.” 

It was the Queen. Brienne turned and gave a formal bow. “Your Grace. I truly am,” she admitted with a bright smile. “We all needed this.” 

“Indeed,” Dany agreed. “I wanted to tell you something about this morning,” she continued. “It was the way Ser Jaime looked at you that convinced me to trust him.” Brienne was both surprised and flattered. “For all I know he could have been lying about everything else, but when he looked at you and spoke of love… I knew he was telling the truth. No man can fake that kind of admiration.” Brienne glanced over and Jaime and he caught her eye and smiled. Daenerys laughed. “See what I mean, he’s so in love with you,” she sighed dreamily. “I won’t keep you, but I just wanted to tell you that and make sure you know what you two have is special.” 

“Thank you my Queen,” Brienne said, bowing again. She wasn’t sure what else to say and was a bit tongue tied in the wake of such a wonderful compliment. 

“I’ll make sure he knows too,” Dany said, touching her arm briefly. “If Ser Jaime hadn’t fallen in love with you… I can’t say his fate would have led him to such a positive place.” With a beautiful smile the queen gave a wave and was gone. 

“Were you two talking about me?” Jaime said as he approached, hugging her from behind. 

“I see your ego has fully inflated again,” she teased him, leaning back into his embrace. “I wanna do that,” she said suddenly, still enamoured by the adorable young couple on the dance floor. 

“You want to dance? Of course,” Jaime said, letting her go to offer his hand. 

“Yes, but like that,” Brienne said, nodding towards Missandei. 

“Hmm… looks easy enough,” he said, leading her out to the dance floor. Instead of keeping their arms up and their bodies separated a modest distance Jaime pulled her close and she put her head on his shoulder. It only took a moment for her to forget all about the fact that people might be watching them because she got lost in the feel of their bodies moving together to the music. Brienne hadn’t even realized they had instruments at Castle Black, let alone people who knew how to play them, but a cute little band had been formed and they were quite good. She closed her eyes for a moment and enjoyed swaying around with Jaime. Once again she was in that place where she felt so much like a woman, a Lady even. For once she actually had to admit she wouldn’t have rather been out sparring or riding instead. 

“Is this what you wanted?” Jaime whispered in her ear. The sound of his voice made her body tingly. He stroked her back gently and nuzzled her cheek with his. 

“Mmm hmm,” Brienne replied with a sigh. She could have stayed right there in his arms for hours, but unfortunately the song ended and they switched to something much more upbeat, not really made for that kind of couple’s dancing. 

They slipped off the dancefloor as many others flooded on to bounce around to the new song. “Brother,” Tyrion said loudly as they approached. “Come tell them how I once bedded 5 whores and exhausted them all.” Brienne shook her head and smiled as she watched Tyrion pull Jaime away to corroborate his dirty tale. 

Jaime was lost somewhere in the crowd when the next slower song came on, but Brienne wasn’t without a dance partner. “Would ya dance with me?” Tormund asked, offering up a massive, calloused hand. Brienne found herself taking his hand immediately. Tormund knew that she was in love with Jaime and there would be no chance for him. He’d accepted it a long time ago and since then they had all developed a friendship. He still flirted with her once in awhile, but it was all in fun, to annoy Jaime. Sometimes she played along and sometimes she just laughed. But once the two of them were on the dance floor it felt a little different. Brienne realized something - it was her chance to be kind to someone, like Renly had done for her so many years ago. She didn’t have to love Tormund or even pretend to, but he had feelings for her and what would it hurt to give him a little moment? 

She let him hold her and they danced in silence. When they were finished she thanked him and then left him with a kiss on the cheek. He turned beet red and had the silliest grin on his face, but he was thrilled and it felt good. Brienne knew she wasn’t leading him on because he was well aware of her feelings for Jaime, but it was special for him and it was nice to give him that. 

Brienne tried to push the negative thoughts out of her mind, but thinking about Tormund and seeing other familiar faces around the room… she couldn’t help but wonder who would survive the battle for another feast and who might be enjoying their final celebration. Another glass of wine rid her mind of those thoughts altogether, but it also left her far more drunk than she’d ever been. She was suddenly feeling really, really hot and claustrophobic and desperate for fresh air. 

Leaving the laughter and music and loud voices behind her Brienne found the quickest exit and went outside. The cold hit her like a slap in the face, almost taking her breath away, but it felt good. She sucked in the fresh air and looked up into the black night. Bad idea… everything started spinning and she ended up on her ass. But it was funny. So funny. Everything was funny. She was laughing hysterically when she looked up and saw Jaime staring down at her. “Oh Ser Jaime,” she giggled. “I’m afraid I’ve had a little too much to drink.” 

“A little hmm?” He gave her a smirk and then offered a hand. It was a struggle, but somehow Jaime managed to get her to her feet. “Come on, let’s get you to bed,” he said gently. 

“No, no, no,” she shook her head. “Just a little longer,” Brienne begged. She wasn’t ready to leave the fresh air, even if she truly was freezing at that point. Jaime undid his cloak and fiddled with it for a bit, awkwardly with his one hand, and then somehow managed to swing it around both of them and pull her into his warmth. “You’re my hero,” she sighed, her words slurring a bit. Jaime just shook his head and chuckled. “You’re gonna be everyone’s hero in this war you know. Bran said so.” She felt Jaime stiffen and she turned to face him. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s nothing to worry about tonight,” he said, giving her a sexy smile and a light peck on the lips. 

“Jaime, tell me,” she pleaded. Brienne didn’t have much patience even when she was sober. She needed to know what was concerning him. 

 

He shrugged. “It’s silly.” She gave him a look. “Heroes die,” he said, finally admitting his worries. 

“So do cowards - and they die without honour,” Brienne replied, touching his face with her freezing cold fingertips. Jaime turned his lips to kiss her fingers and it made her start to feel warmer. “Did you ever imagine you’d be here?” She asked, snuggling close to him once again. 

“At Castle Black? Hells no,” Jaime chuckled. “The Nightswatch never crossed my mind as a future endeavour.” None of them expected the Castle and the Wall would ever be home, albeit temporarily, to anyone other than men who took the black. 

“It’s strangely beautiful, don’t you think?” Brienne looked around. The moon was bright and you could see the ice crystals and fresh snow glittering in the moonlight. It was so quiet and peaceful. Of course the company didn’t hurt either. 

Jaime turned her to face him and looked into her eyes. “I have a hard time looking at anything but you.” He kissed her and Brienne hugged him tightly, kissing him back. In the cold night, at the start of a long winter as far north as most living men would ever dare wander she felt content and happy. On the other side of the wall was an army like none other, ready to add many of them to the world of the dead, but in Jaime’s arms she felt safe. Alone they were tough, together they were even tougher. Brienne’s past had a lot of lows with a few highs, and she didn’t know what the future would hold but the present - it was absolutely perfect. 

Off in the distance Brienne heard a wail, followed by a loud woosh. As she turned toward the noise she was sure she saw glowing blue eyes, high in the sky… a flying beast… She started laughing at the absurdity. Just how drunk am I? She wondered. 

“What’s so funny?” Jaime asked her. 

“I could have swore I just saw a dead dragon fly by, you know, with those glowing blue eyes?” She said, snorting with laughter again. 

“Okay, we need to get you to bed,” he replied, laughing along with her. “You’re clearly wasted or delirious from exhaustion.” 

With no one to see them Brienne reached for his hand and linked their fingers as they headed back inside. She really was tired, but she hoped they wouldn’t be going straight to sleep. She glanced over at Jaime and felt her heart flutter. He was beautiful and not just on the outside anymore. He was as brave and honourable as any man she knew and Brienne was proud to stand and fight beside him as equals. 

 

My honour is greater to me than my life ~ Miguel De Cervantes 

The end


End file.
